Saturday, November 10, 2007

Letter from Alcatraz

Hello everyone.

Yesterday I started to feel a little overheated in spite of the chilly weather and all of a sudden I got a strange idea.

What about the carbon footprint?

I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I know Wrusty knows a lot about it, and also Marquee, and that darling little Captain January, in fact all the bucks know practically everything there is to know about the carbon footprint.

And speaking of those gentlemen I noticed how really wonderful they looked yesterday and I was surprised I hadn't been struck by it before, in fact even last week I remarked to Hannah Belle what a disgusting bunch they were, but I must be needing glasses to say something like that because yesterday I couldn't imagine ever having seen a finer group of individuals assembled anywhere unless of course an Osmond Family photo session were under way.

So I squeezed through my private fence hole in the cabana pasture, and then I squeezed under the Willenized fence in the buck pasture, and then I sashayed - I just felt like sashaying, I don't know why - up to the pen where Marquee was blubbering and pawing and in general discoursing at a very erudite level about the perils of carbon dioxide.

Anyway, long story short, next thing I know I have a lead rope around my neck and I am being frogmarched up to the baby holding cell (Alcatraz) in the barn, where I am now in my second day of incarceration without ever having seen so much as a magistrate.

Well, I guess things could be a little bit worse - I could have been sent to the horse trailer (Guantanamo). But really. What about the due process? What about the jury of my peers?

No justice, NO PEACE!!!


Marigold said...

My Dear Belle,
A jury of your peers? Surely you would not want THAT? That would include goats like Penrose, and might even include Nubians. Do you think THAT would be fair? Better to suffer the cruelties of Alcatraz and bide your time. The day will come when the goat farmer isn't looking.

deconstructingVenus said...

Stay strong, Baby Belle. This too shall pass. Why, I bet within a day or two, you'll be questioning why you even wanted to go discus the carbon footprint at all! I know at times those blubbering stinky boys can seem quite alluring. I don't personally get it, but my Nubian Tierra and Angora Lucy both tell me it is indeed so. I know a Nubian cannot be trusted, but what about an Angora?

Yang said...

The carbon footprint is grossly overrated and although the Beasty Boys can disguise their general disgusting nature from time to time, it is simply a trick of the light/moon/wind/whateveryoucaretoblame.
Eat lots of chocolate, (or the goat equivalent of chocolate) and I promise you will wake up tomorrow with no interest in the carbon footprint or in sashaying.