Friday, November 30, 2012

Never Mind, I'll Find Someone Like Crumpet

Crumpet is small and cute but that is not enough. If you are reading this and you are small and cute and you think that is enough, you are wrong.

If you are thinking, "well, I am small and cute and I am also from Oregon," please believe me when I tell you that that is not enough either and so is Crumpet by the way.

Crumpet needs to develop a skill since she is too small to be a real dairy goat. She can't be bred so she can't be milked so she is going to need some vocational training because everyone needs the satisfaction of making their way in the world unless they don't make it but that happens sometimes and it's no excuse for idling your life away.

Anyway it has been decided that Crumpet will learn to play the piano.

Why the piano? You are probably asking. Well, she is too short for the cello.

Ok, that makes sense. But what song will she learn to play?

Probably something by Adele.

Why? you are probably asking. Why not Pachalbel's Canon, so she could play at weddings? Or 'We've Only Just Begun' by the Carpenters?

Well if she learns an Adele song everyone will already be crying as she plays. But still they will be pleased, and they can tell their friends, "I just saw a little goat playing 'Someone Like You' on the piano. You don't see that every day."

We don't expect her to end up at Carnegie Hall or anything. You have to be realistic.