Friday, January 25, 2013

Voting Booth

Crumpet is launching her new line of famous goat products shortly and a famous designer is creating her first t-shirt but there is a fly in the ointment. It hasn't been decided whether the Crumpet t-shirt should say "T.M.F.G.I.T.W." (the most famous goat in the world) on the back or whether it should say G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time.)

One of the farmer's friends said it can't say G.O.A.T. on the back because there are already a lot of people using that including LL Cool J who isn't a very good singer in our opinion in fact I would rather listen to Crumpet play the drums but that is another story. Pinky said so what who cares we can do what we want and those people aren't goats anyway and they are probably not the greatest of all time either which I thought was actually quite sensible especially coming from someone who enjoys banging her head against the wall in her free time which let's face it all her time is free. But then you know what they say, everybody is a critic. Throw a rock, hit a critic.

So we decided to put it to a vote.

Go ahead and vote.

In other news Betty's sister Cora Belle who lives over at Minter Bay despite not being the most famous goat in the world managed to milk 1300 pounds on her milk test this year and so she will probably be one of the Top Ten Nigerian milkers in the country. Unless another fly gets in the ointment which is pretty much all the flies seem to want to do.  But they can't change the fact that she milked 1300 pounds even with missing a few days and not trying very hard and honestly she can do much better but anyway congratulations to GCH Herron Hill CJ Cora Belle *M, I hope she doesn't get any more titles because her name is already about a foot long. Maybe some day she will get her own t-shirt.

As for me give me liberty or give me death. But seriously, give me liberty.

Please exercise your patriotic rights by voting in the **Crumpet Poll.


*M that just means star milker
**I forgot to mention Crumpet has her own page now if you want to visit it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Somebody Has To

Someone pointed out that if Crumpet is the most famous goat in the world, where does that leave me?

It is a good question.

Anyway Crumpet did not do anything famous yesterday.

Crayola has never been famous or even very well known but yesterday she spent the day acting adorable I am not sure why. She and Jinxy took turns standing by the gate so their backs could be scratched and making adorable sleepy eyes. I am not sure why but they were both putting on a big show of adorability. Where does that leave me, if I am not the most famous or the most adorable goat in the world? I am not in a Doritos commercial either, and I should have been.

I guess I can't worry about that. Last night the coyotes were singing in desperate harmony and they sounded closer than ever and I know the farmer is not a good shot but I guess I can't worry about that either.

It has not rained for a long time here mostly because it has been too cold but this morning the rain started back, cold and sleety and looking fairly interminable. Sometimes it looks like it is only interested in raining for a few minutes, but sometimes it looks fairly interminable and that is what it is doing now and I know the roof in the cottage leaks and as far as the cabana the only news would be if it stopped leaking since it is a sieve.

But the only thing I know about roofs is how to stand on them so what am I going to do.

Sometimes it is just best to get into a zen state and accept the things you cannot change.

Screw that, I am going to do something. About everything. Somebody has to.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Most Famous Goat in the World

Well what happened was it didn't work out that well with Crumpet playing the piano. Oh she could play the notes all right but she just didn't play with any feeling. The playing was so soulless that none of the dogs even sang along with it. "That is just a lot of pounding," the farmer finally said, and the piano lessons stopped.

Ok so then we moved on to drums since nuance did not seem to be her strong suit and she rode completely roughshod over notations in the music. "Con fuoco," "adagio," "incalzando," "allegro non troppo" - it was all the same tin-eared pounding.

So we tried the drums instead.

That was worse if anything. Soulless piano playing is one thing but soulless drumming is like a rumenotomy. Or I guess like a root canal if you are a person.  Crumpet on her little bongo was a disaster, it made Pinky banging her head against the wall - which she likes to do, for some reason, I think she is trying to shake an idea loose - sound like a band of angels playing harp music on a balmy midsummer night's eve.

"Oh please bang your head, Pinky," we would beg, when the bongo started up. Just to drown it out. And by the way Pinky may have to sit out a few games after this, until she is cleared to play again by the team doctor, but it was definitely worth it.

Then a few more desperate ideas popped up: maybe Crumpet could write romance novels. Really? She has never even been in heat. Or maybe she could run for political office. "Barn Mayor," suggested Winjay, and Wronny t-boned her into the wall. Ok, so most of the positions around here are already filled, but maybe something less important, Vice President of the United States or something. Really?

But then in the end Belle Starr came up with the best idea because let's face it this is the Internet Age and you don't really need any skills or accomplishments any more, you don't have to do anything, you can just be something. Just announce that you are something and then be it. And maybe if you get around to it you could develop an app about yourself, an app celebrating your celebrity that people could look at on their iPads.

So we decided that Crumpet would be the most famous goat in the world, and we will all just keep repeating that until it becomes a fact. Then someone with nothing else to do will enter it into wikipedia, and it will become reality.

So we are going to start making announcements about Crumpet and it would be good if you could do that too. And in future when we refer to her it will be as Crumpet, the most famous goat in the world. And if anyone asks you who is the most famous goat in the world just say, "oh, Crumpet, of course."

And if anyone asks what she is famous for just say "for being Crumpet." Or you could just shake your head in amazement and say, "you need to download the Crumpet app if you don't know that."

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Happy New Year!

It is New Year's Day where we are and we wish you the best New Year ever!