Wednesday, December 20, 2006

G-O-T-Y campaign poster

I'm not sure if I mentioned it but there is a goat of the year contest going on. Don't forget to vote for your favorite candidate. If it were up to me, I would pick the goat with the most holiday spirit.

Winnie, With Bling Bling

This is Winnie. Winnie is Brandy's daughter. Brandy is the herd queen. Together, Winnie and Brandy are known as the Sopranos. They go around making people offers they can't refuse.

Like for example, "get away from the alfalfa or I'll break your legs."

Or, "get up from that cushy hay pile, I feel like lying on it."

Or, "go to the end of the line or I'll bite a chunk out of your ear."

They are very direct. No time wasted on "would you mind," or "could I trouble you," or anything like that. Notice how Winnie wears a cheesy gold chain in the photo. She has the same fashion sense as Rocky Balboa.

When Brandy is not around, sometimes there is an insurrection against Winnie, and everyone will do a gang-up and push Winnie out of the barn, or shove her down the hill. Not very often, but sometimes. When Brandy is preoccupied.

But then Brandy comes back and everyone commences scurrying and kowtowing again and acting like it was all a big accident that everyone formed a scrum and steamrollered Winnie. And Winnie, oblivious as ever, goes back to thinking she is God's Gift to Goats.

Now Winnie, like Prince Charles, thinks that when Brandy decides to pass along her crown, she will be first in line. She has probably already got a speech written for the occasion. But I can tell you, that is not going to happen. Because Winnie is no Brandy. The common goats will not support her. Instead, Winnie's daughter, if she ever has one, will probably be the herd queen. Like little Prince Wills.

In fact, if Winnie has a baby girl next spring, the farmer is thinking of calling her Princess William.

Or maybe something else.

When It Rains...

First the deluge of November, which flooded the barn, followed by the first deep freeze, which burst the pipes in the barn, followed by the first little windstorm, which put the power out for two days, followed by the big windstorm, which put the power out for 5+ days, while the temperatures went back below freezing again and threatened to reburst the pipes.

Now we are expecting another little windstorm, which likely will put the power back out for a while - there are big trees hanging by a thread everywhere.

And now Scouty is getting worse, so keep your fingers crossed. She is on Day 3 of the spider bite, which has turned her udder hot and swollen. The farmer thinks this will be the worst day, because the bite mark has turned purple and is starting to drift apart. so we will see what the vet says.

If you get bit by a spider and can't get to the doctor right away, put a paste of meat tenderizer on it, or a paste of activated charcoal if you don't have tenderizer. Take some milk thistle extract to help your liver push the poisons out. The farmer's friend who knows everything says Day 3 is always the worst day for a bad spider bite.

Anyway, now would be a good time to count our blessings.

1. We are on Herron Road, which turned out to be about the hardest hit road on the peninsula. We have our power back, and our next door neighbor has power back, but everybody west of us (there are two miles of Herron Road west of us) is still out because there is so much repair to do. Big trees just about everywhere. And that includes everyone on Herron Island - they get their power from the end of Herron Road, where the ferry dock is.

2. We have a generator now.

3. The farmer thinks Scouty was bitten by a black widow. That sounds bad, but it is much better than a brown recluse.

4. I am still winning in the Goat-of-the-Year poll.