Saturday, January 05, 2008

A Brownie Study

First little Brownie, the F-150, blew its carburetor. The carburetor got fixed by the discount mechanic but now he doesn't have time to put it back in the truck. He's old and he doesn't like to work while it's raining, which should get him here sometime in May at the earliest.

Meanwhile big Brownie, the F-250, has been dying a thousand deaths. First the battery cables, then the battery, then the starter relay, and now nobody really knows what, but unfortunately Big Brownie has been being "fixed" by the free mechanic, who is even less reliable than the discount mechanic. He's the farmer's neighbor who stops by three or four times a week to break Big Brownie a little further. Then he says, "That wasn't supposed to happen," and goes to work until the next day or the day after, when he comes over and breaks something else.

So we have had to eat alfalfa PELLETS instead of actual alfalfa HAY as nature intended because pellets, unlike bales, can be transported in a Honda. Not that I get any (see previous post), all I get is a few miserly peas and a bouquet of tasteless grass hay.

On the bright side, the farmer was telling the crazy trailriding lady from over the way that the F-250 is getting much better mileage now. It used to only get 8 miles to the gallon, but now it hardly uses any gas. Since it won't start.

So that's what's happening on the sunny side of the street.

Where we don't live.

My World and Welcome to It

Well apparently it has been decided that I will not have any kids this year, which I think is a terrible mistake. My daughters Hannah Belle and Blue Umbrella will be having kids, though, so all is not lost.

It has also been decided that I am too fat, which is ridiculous, since everyone knows that winter fur adds at least ten pounds. But what can you do, you can't fight City Hall.

In other news the goat seminar is next weekend, which means that some people who want to learn about goats will be coming here to annoy us. The farmer already explained to Ayatollah Winnie that she will have to pretend to be nice for several hours, since she is one of the ones who has "volunteered" to be milked by the beginners.

Wronny and Peaches have also "volunteered" but they are nice anyway so didn't get the lecture. In other news, little orphan Betsy came back into heat - so her frozen boyfriend did not turn out to be a good swimmer. Or maybe her field goal kicking attempts on the a.i. stand produced some sort of negative whiplash effect that sent the boys in the wrong direction. Who knows. On the other hand, Penrose's frozen boyfriend looks like he might have crossed the Channel. We'll see.

So Betsy went down to see Junior, who isn't frozen, but might as well be for all the personality he has, not to mention those sad little LaMancha ears. Obviously I prefer the Captain, with his darling blue eyes and actual ears like a normal goat should have.

But anyway 2008 has been okay so far. I have my own little house - I don't like to mingle with riffraff - and so far it hasn't been too cold.

So there you have it.