Monday, May 30, 2011

Terrifying Intruder, Part One

Hello. Today there was a terrifying intruder.

When faced with a terrifying intruder, it is important to pay attention. It is almost impossible to be properly terrified if you are dozing off.

Steps which will aid in focusing the attention:

1. Everyone must face the terrifying intruder, even Pinky.

2. Actually, this is really Step One, but we usually do it second. So we call it Step Two. Step Two: Stop eating. Even Pinky.

3. Try to identify someone nearby who is smarter than you (difficult in my case, but Pinky can just look anywhere, even at a pigeon) and see what they are doing. Do whatever they are doing.

4. Is Hannah Belle anywhere nearby? If so, the intruder isn't really that terrifying. If Hannah Belle has vanished, run for the barn.

Thank you. I hope this has been of some help to those of you who are unsure whether or not to be terrified.

Friday, May 27, 2011


The farmer went away for a week and when the farmer came back my daughter Pretty Baby had gotten EVEN CUTER. Hard to believe but true.

In less interesting news, Jimmy had had a little buckling, he is also a single like Cherry's daughter Maraschino, and he also has milk stupefaction. He is a mini-mancha with blue eyes and wattles. He can hardly keep his eyes open.

He is always waking up and discovering that the whole herd has gone somewhere else and he is all alone and then he starts crying sleepily and then Jimmy appears with a big bag of milk and tops him off and then back to Dreamytown, see you later, you're getting very sleepy, don't try to talk.

We are thinking of calling him James Dream because all of Jimmy's sons are named Jimmy.

Well, she only had one, but his name was Jimmy Jr.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Sometimes one day is a lifetime.

We lost our little nut. So now we can call her Hazel.

5/13/2011 - 5/14/2011.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Nameless New Nut

We have seen some tiny little peanuts in our day. Including Mr. Peanut himself, now the largest 4-legged peanut in the world. But usually they are Nigerians.

In a move that took everyone by surprise, Wronny had a rare LaMancha peanut doeling last night. This is a tiny one. We are all holding our breath.

"She doesn't look that good," the farmer said gently to Wronny. Wronny ignored that comment, and got busy cleaning the peanut and getting it started and giving the farmer occasional icy looks, as if to say, "why are you still standing here when you could be going to get the vanilla wafers?"

I thought the peanut should be named Hazel. But the farmer said no, no names. Not right now. It would be a jinx.

The peanut has one thing going for her, though. She is mad as a hornet.

And about the same size.

Thursday, May 05, 2011


Lucy just had two little chocolate Toggamanchas. They seem to lack personality but I will give them a couple of days. Anyway, I am pleased. Lucy will have plenty of milk for the Milk Drive if Cherry gets tired or Pinky.

You Can't Get Good Help

Did you notice how nobody ever bothers to bring these two a glass of water? The exact same thing happens to me whenever I go out to eat.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

We Three Blue-Eyed Crybabies

Talk about a royal pain, these three never stop whinging. The Duke, the Duchess, and Grand Empress Betty.

Send Tangy to Spindale

Won't you please help. We are raising money to send Tangy to the Spindale Goat Festival and Parade this month. As you probably know, Spindale is the home of the American Dairy Goat Association, and last year they started having a festival and parade and I guess it was a big success with dancing in the street and little girl bands and goats dressed as honeybees and so they are having it again. And we would really like Tangy to go so she can demonstrate her swordfish walk. Spindale is in North Carolina, and we think once she gets there, she won't be able to get back, so we would really like her to go. I don't know if I mentioned that. She won't fit in a crate (no, not even a Great Dane crate) to go on the airline so we will need to buy a bus ticket. One way. Thanks for any contribution you can make.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Fleet Foxes

Speaks for itself....right?

Goat of the Month

Cherry is our Goat of the Month. Congratulations to Cherry.

Cherry (aka Tellicherry) is Pinky Jr.'s (aka Pinkberry) twin.

They are both Big Orange daughters.

Cherry is just as sweet as Big Orange but not as crazy, only medium crazy. She is the type who can be released on her own recognizance. That is if you can catch her in the first place. She is a fast runner and good at sharp turns. She looks like a big sleek glossy black deer with mostly chewed-off ears.

Cherry has been donating to the Milk Drive every day. All of the milk collected goes to my three kids and the farmer's coffee and cheese fund and the save-Wendell-from-unsightly-weight-loss campaign and the goat milk soap factory in the cottage and the please-support-elderly-border-collies Foundation.

And there is still plenty enough left over to stupefy Maraschino. We have never known Maraschino to stay awake for longer than five minutes, this is because of milk stupefaction. She is constantly nodding off.

Try stupefying someone with milk you bought at the grocery store and see what happens. Nothing.

Anyway Cherry is our Goat of the Month. Congratulations to Cherry.