Monday, February 09, 2015

Kidder's Guide, Part Two

Okay now you have had your kids. They are 'on the ground' as the farmers like to say which I don't understand because where else would they be, they aren't pteradactyls. They are walking around yelling and searching for milk, unless they are bucklings. If they are bucklings, they may be laying limp and dazed in the straw, wondering why they got ejected from their comfy hot tub. If necessary you can go Jammies on them and give them a couple of kicks in the ribs. This will usually get them started. (That is where the 'kickstarter' web site gets its name, fyi.)

Anyway, your job is done.

Let's say you had a lot of kids and they were kind of tangled up and one of them has twisted legs or is walking on his knuckles or something like that. What should you do?

Nothing. He will be fine in a couple of days. Your job is done.

Now you must concentrate on eating. Eat as much as you can as rapidly as possible. Complain loudly if they try to foist grass hay on you. Demand 4th cutting alfalfa.

No need to fawn any longer.

Your job is done.