Saturday, September 08, 2012

Complaints from the Dust Bowl

The beautiful weather has been dragging on continuously with 48 days without rain. That's fine and everything, I guess the sunshine is ok, but after a while it hurts your eyes. Crumpet's head is about four inches from the ground and it is so dry she is constantly getting dust in her little eyeballs and the farmer's idea of spraying water around the gate to hold the dust down is a real stroke of genius and it helps for about three minutes in the morning. I hope Crumpet doesn't go blind but if she does there will be a Kickstarter campaign to raise money for an eyeball transplant so prepare yourself for that because you will need to chip in if it happens. Anyway it is supposed to rain on Monday and right now we are looking forward to going back to complaining about rain instead of dust.

Also one more note on the beautiful weather I find it monotonous. If I were making up a schedule it would go like this: 2 beautiful days followed by one rainy day followed by a beautiful day followed by a cloudy day with showers at night (when I am in the cabana) followed by a beautiful day but a little bit chilly followed by one of those days where it doesn't really rain but it sort of mists and people say "is it raining? is it starting to rain? did you just feel something?" and there is patchy morning fog all day long. And then repeat. The temperature range would be very flexible, I do not want to seem controlling, anywhere from 55-75 would be fine. The chilly day could go as low as 48.

The haircuts on the middling fair hostages all look terrible. Supposedly that is going to be 'fixed' today. Great, if there is anything worse than a bad haircut it is a fixed haircut. If you ever get a really bad haircut and someone says, "don't worry, I can fix that," just run as fast as you can, especially if they have a pair of Oster A5 clippers in their hand.

Since she has been in with the milkers Winjay has been steadily getting crazier and right now it is a dead heat between Maddy and Winjay as to which one has the most screws loose. There is definitely a metallic rattle when they walk around. Big Orange has pretty much dropped out of the running, there is no way she will be re-elected in November.

The latest on Winjay: all the milkers get special extra fancy delicious grain because they are so important. Everyone else gets a few sprinkles of plain cob or all-stock or something like that. We watch the milkers eating with tears in our eyes.

Anyway Winjay won't eat the delicious grain, she throws it out of the dish onto the floor and stamps until she gets cheap grain.