Monday, May 31, 2010

Hoodlums in Action

In this photo, two kid hoodlums sneak past the "security" guard on their way to the alfalfa stack. See you later, stickboy.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Goat Beauty Parlor


Ok Binky had her babies. Binky is a LaMancha with 12.5% Nubian as I mentioned earlier. Binky had two doe kids and they are miniManchas. They are not too bad looking since they are half Nigerian. Binky seemed pleased to see them but had no idea who they were. After a few days she noticed that they followed her everywhere. A flicker of understanding crossed her forehead one morning and she looked at the farmer in astonishment. "I had two babies!"

That was excellent. Except she was sharing a stall with Peaches, who was already supposed to have had her kids, and by this time on Thursday, Peaches was starting to go into labor and when the farmer came out to the barn she had chased Binky, who is three times her size, into a corner of the stall and taken the babies. What can I say, there were a lot of powerful hormones surging through her body, and she saw those babies and she WANTED them.

Binky is very gentle and kind and has no underlings and she looked on helplessly with a flicker of misunderstanding brewing inside her 12.5% head. "I guess those aren't my babies? Maybe they are kittens that like goat milk?"

Well, the farmer came in and saw what was going on and took Binky and her babies out and put them in a different stall, and fluffed the straw so Peaches could have her own babies and go back to her right mind, and that's what she did after making a long drawn-out all-day drama of it. Peaches had two doe kids and got them started in a very professional fashion and inspected them thoroughly for any irregularities and set up a nest for them under the feeder box and once they were asleep went back to her full-time job of eating as much as possible.

"Ok good," said the farmer, and put Binky and her babies back in the stall. That was fine. Next morning the farmer came out and everything was nice and quiet. No fights, no disagreements, no baffled Binky crying, everything good. The farmer milked and did the chores and came back to let the babies out for a stroll during a brief break in the endless rain.

What does the farmer see?

Binky is lying in one corner of the stall, chewing happily, with one doe kid next to her sleeping. Peaches is in the opposite corner, chewing happily, with three doe kids in her pile, including Binky's cutest daughter. Peaches gives the farmer a shrugging look - "I usually have triplets."

No screaming, so the farmer says, "fine, do it your way."

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Cork Fell Out

Well, I should have known no one but me would read the schedule. Peaches was supposed to have her kids, and then Binky, but today Binky had twin doelings without even asking Peaches whether it was her turn. Too late to put them back in, they have already drunk about a gallon of milk. They're darling.

The farmer went up to Port Orchard over the weekend and met Willen's brother. Willen's brother can jump four feet even though his butt is definitely not any bigger than Willen's. His owner said he is good at jumping but needs a long runway to get up to to speed, kind of like a 747. She is taking him with her to college in the fall when she goes. I don't think Willen would do very well at college, even though he once ate part of a book. There was cake frosting on it.

Peaches continues to grow larger, defying all odds.

The farmer is going to make some special cheeses, spring cheeses, even though the rain is pouring down in a very November-like fashion.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Giant Peach

Stand back, Bumbles! That thing could go off!

Scenes From the Goat Show

The 'fun' begins.

See you later, sucker. We are on our way to a goat show.

If you ever see this sign, pull over.

Cora Belle scopes out the competition.

Excitement (I think that's what it was?) fills the air as the show gets under way.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Binky and the Giant Peach and The Time

It is the nature of the time to have come. And it has. Well, it almost has. Well anyway, the time has come close.

Only three are left to kid. Peaches, aka the Giant Peach, is supposed to kid next week. If she doesn't explode first. She looks like a gigantic orange duck on ice skates.

Then there is Binky. By this time Binky, who is the daughter of Xie Xie, who is the daughter of Betsy, who is the daughter of Stacy, is only 12.5% Nubian. (That's four begats, isn't it?) But sometimes numbers don't tell the whole story.

Everyone agrees Binky is darling. Even visitors will say it.

"She isn't very pretty, is she?" one of them will say, admiring Binky's 12.5% Nubian horsehead as she saunters around looking for the barn.

"No," the other will say. "But she's darling."

We sometimes have to show Binky things. Like the barn. Over here, Binky, the barn is over here. It's the big white building. Do you remember it now?

This what we're eating it's called 'alfalfa.' It's a cute name, isn't it?

This is a 'fence,' Binky. You can't just go through it, you have to jump over. It's no good just sticking your head in and crying.

Anyway, we help her when we can if it isn't any trouble.

After the Giant Peach, Binky will kid.

That will clear the stage for the main event. In July, the last babies of the season will be born.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010


The spring is our favorite time of year because all the new babies are born and we get to meet them all. But it can also be sad, because most of the babies leave to go to new homes. Spud left, and Ivar left, and Mac left, and Frosty and Sparkles left.

And then last weekend Corky and Clarence left.

But Acorn, their triplet sister, stayed here.

For the last two days she has been standing at the fenceline gazing out blankly. Then she goes and lies alone in a corner of the baby barn.

We are going to have a Jamboree this year in celebration of Baby Belle's Birthday. I think that will cheer everyone up.

The farmer already told Acorn she can be in the baby goat races.

She is a fast runner, and I hope she wins.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Red Letter Day

Well yesterday was a red letter day with the farmer going to a goat show with the farmer from Minter Bay. Once again it was a tale of two goats, with Cora Belle, aka "Showtime," fussing the whole way then striking all the perfect poses in the ring.

The farmer did not show Cora Belle, though. The farmer showed a goat named Buttons. In real life Buttons is a tiny delightful Nigerian Dwarf who could get a job tomorrow as a greeter at WalMart.

During the show, however, she did a very convincing impersonation of an angry cinderblock. In one ring she spyhopped like a miniature Orca, twisting up into the air and landing with all her weight on one of the farmer's toes. Since there is no cursing allowed at the show, all the farmer could do was chuckle fondly and say, "oh you little dickens!"

In the next ring Buttons tried to lie down and had to be dragged to her feet. "Ha ha ha!" said the farmer.

How much does she weigh? thought the farmer. A thousand pounds? The farmer made a mental note to buy a pair of steel-toed shoes before having anything to do with Buttons again.

Neither of the goats won any champion prizes because Jackie's mother won two of the three rings. The mother of my boyfriend from the drive-up buck window won the other.

Meanwhile over at Blackberry Hollow, Gracie was having her baby, Prancer the Dancer, a very cute miniMancha with sparkle ears, the best kind of ears to have. According to reports from the scene, Prancer the Dancer busted a move almost as soon as he was born.

Back at the farm, the farmer was surprised to find Maddy looking perfectly normal.

Maddy got injured a while ago and her head has been swollen for several days. The farmer was feeling very gloomy about it. Even though it didn't bother her, it started to seem that a trip to the vet was inevitable, and the farmer had been hoping to buy a little blanket harrow with that money. So the farmer was delighted to see Maddy looking almost like a normal goat.

Then the farmer went out to feed the horses. Laddy the Tennessee Walker had one of his eyes swollen almost completely shut.

Great, thought the farmer. There goes my blanket harrow. And my steel-toed shoes.

Friday, May 07, 2010

All Pepe is Saying...

Guess Again

Only two paltry passengers (deux, dos, zwei) disembarked from the dirigible. That's right, two. And they were not even very big. Good guesses, though.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

All Ashore That's Going Ashore

We know how many kids were packed into this 300-gallon drum, because a couple of days ago they came out. Would you care to take a guess? Go ahead.