Monday, May 01, 2006

Call Me Fifi

Atticus is our guardian Pyrenees. He tells us all where to go and what to do. He is very bossy. We don't always like him but we love him: he keeps everyone safe and won't even allow crows to land in the pasture.

Atticus is three, and up until last Thursday, he looked very fearsome. He was covered with a shaggy white coat which had acquired an impressive collection of mud mats and magnificent dingleberries over the rainy winter. Whenever the meter man even saw Atticus, he would jump into his truck and start throwing biscuits out the window while he raced backwards down the driveway, spewing gravel. It's kind of funny, because in spite of his size and his intimidating appearance, Atticus is actually very very gentle (as long as he is being obeyed). He lets baby goats jump on him and loves to have his tummy rubbed.

Anyway, last Thursday morning he looked, as usual, like a dirty white lion. Until a big mysterious van came up the driveway and a little lady in a smock got out. She and another lady put a muzzle on Atticus - !!! - and picked him up, despite the fact that he weighs well over a hundred pounds and does NOT like to be picked up, and carried him inside the van.

A long time passed. There was a lot of noise coming out of the van, including a sound like a weedwhacker going.

We wondered what was going on. We heard some swear words, which we are familiar with from the time the farmer had to cut Hannah Belle out of the fence. But mostly we heard that buzzing noise. Over an hour later the door opened and a 4-foot-tall poodle, blindingly white and clean and wearing a green bandanna, stepped sheepishly out of the van. We wondered what had happened to Atticus, and whether we should start cleaning the barn for fear the uber-poodle would dirty its immaculate paws.

The poodle was shaved within an inch of its life, but still it was magnificent, unmistakably the largest poodle ever to walk the Earth. We stood by in amazement as it approached, sashaying in an oddly familiar way. And then we all burst out laughing! It was Atticus!

Holy Cow! Wait until you see the pictures of the Extreme Makeover wrought by the mobile grooming lady!