Monday, March 28, 2011

Pinky and the Brain

Pinky went walkabout.

It was a little bit sunny and she had a little bit of an upset stomach so the farmer let her out of her maternity stall to eat brush and grass to settle her stomach.

Silver went with her since he is her son and doesn't know any better.

Before going outside Pinky stopped at the little folding table by the milkstand and methodically knocked three pairs of hoof trimmers off onto the floor for no reason at all. One two three, like that.

Then she pulled 63 folded grain sacks out of the bookcase and onto the floor to cover the hoof trimmers. Then as a sort of Brechtian denouement she knocked the folding table over so that it looked very artistic lying on top of the empty grain sacks which unbeknownst to anybody were covering the three hoof trimmers which cost $15.95 each when they are on sale.

She seemed satisfied then and she went outside and knocked all the cedar boards off the porch of the cottage. They were all stacked up for a future flooring project. Then she knocked over a garbage can full of kindling. Silver scampered freely over the new woodpile in a sort of pointed commentary on the wages of photosynthesis. Then she drank all the dog water out of the dog bowl, affronting Wendell. He didn't want it, but it was DOG WATER not GOAT WATER. Then she had gotten somewhere strange that she didn't recognize - the front lawn - and she gave up on living and pitched in bawling so that the farmer came running.

All of this only took about three minutes. The farmer walked her back to the barn, gasping at the wreckage. "Just look at this," marveled the farmer. "And you are only one sixteenth Nubian."

Inside the barn the farmer started picking up grain sacks, but not before stepping onto one of the invisible pairs of hoof trimmers and bending them completely out of shape. Another $15.95 down the drain.

After all this who did the farmer blame? Not Pinky.

"Silver!" yelled the farmer. "You are half Nigerian! You are supposed to be watching her!"