Friday, August 03, 2007

Brats Next Door

Well the farmer got mad today but not mad enough. We were lolling in the front pasture when two little fat kids (human) from next door came up to the fence.

I thought they might have some licorice or cookies since they were fat kids so I went right up to the fence. Hannah Belle had the same idea and she came right up behind me. Peanut and Betty and Zilla came up behind Hannah Belle, and then Boo the ocean liner came pushing her way to the front, while Joy and Lucy actually stood up on the fence trying to reach into the kids' pockets.

Meanwhile those little fat boys were saying, "Baa, baa, baa," which on the scale of witty remarks is right around zero, in my opinion, but I stayed long enough to make sure they didn't have any ginger snaps.

Then I left. "Come on, Hannah Belle, " I said. And Hannah Belle and Peanut and Zilla and Betty left too. And Ruby and Annabel left. And Joy and Lucy left. And Eo left, and Aggie and Vel. And Scouty. And finally even Boo turned her wide load around and left.

Well, what happened then? The little princes picked up rocks and started throwing them at us.

One of them HIT me! I bawled. And then Boo bawled - she is a pretty hard target to miss, and then everybody started running.

Well, I saw one of the little teletubbies with his arm cocked back and just then I heard the loudest booming voice of all time.

CUT IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!

It was the farmer, madder than a hornet, and the two little rock-throwers were frozen solid with fear. They were stone cold busted, two of them standing there with rocks in their hands.

The farmer gave them a good yelling at, and asked a series of rhetorical questions - sometimes these are the best kind, I think.

Did they know that they could put somebody's eye out?

Would THEY like it if someone threw rocks at them?

What if they had hit that little baby goat (meaning Peanut)?

Didn't they have anything else to do?

Why did they do it?

Well they really liked the goats and they were playing (meaning they said "baa baa baa" over and over) with them (meaning us) and then the goats (meaning us) left and they wanted them to come back.

Good grief. I don't know how it happened but one of the little brats is going to come over tomorrow to give Peanut his bottle. And they both say they won't ever throw rocks at us any more.

Yeah right. Where is that pellet gun when you need it?