Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Last Year's Baby

Is there anything sadder than last year's baby? Oh look, last year's baby, it used to be so cute. And now it is last year's baby. Blue Jaye's little daughter Dinky Dollarbird has been moping around trying to get attention. Her mother went up to the barn to have this year's baby, Edward Scissorlegs, and Dinky has been crying-for-me-Argentina ever since.

Rosie the grain hog came right out and told her: "look, no one is interested in you. So button it up."

"Waa," said Dinky tepidly. She was even losing interest in herself. "Waa."

If there is one thing sadder than last year's baby, it is The Most Famous Goat In The World not having its every last goatberry documented and applauded. It's true, Crumpet has been living her life as if she were a perfectly ordinary goat, a nobody from nowhere with nothing to say, she might as well be a Saanen wether, and not the potentate of a multinational organization with offices around the world and her own t-shirt. She got an idea for a startup company (goatLYFT) the other day, and nobody even heard about it, that's how hard it is to get your name in the paper this time of year.

Unless you are a baby.

Babies. Even TMFGITW cannot compete with the little devils. They do not even know how much they love the limelight. They will find out next year, in the springtime, when they wake up one morning to discover that they are last year's baby.


P G said...

Oh Crumpet, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I long to hear you play the piano again and I never even got to hear how you play the harmonica. Maybe Dinky and I could become your fan club and then when the babies become annoying, and they always become annoying, then everyone will see how responsible and mature we are being a fan club and they will think of you and Dinky again but even better than they used to. Or maybe Dinky could become your body guard and learn how to be the best t-boner ever because that is a skill that you never know when you are going to need but knowing the right way to do it takes practice.

Terry said...

Please tell TMGITW that every time my husband puts on his TMFGITW t-shirt, he makes a big deal out of wearing his "goat shirt." So, she is still famous here.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Wait a minute. This is sometimes true but not always. Was Pebble forgotten when she grew up? NO! Has Crumpet been forgotten? NO! NO! NO! She is still TMFGITW, but cannot headline every day of the year, not even Justin Bieber can headline EVERY day of the year. However, when the limelight fades a little and fans are not wearing their TMFGITW shirts every day, then it is time for Crumpet to open her own show in Branson, MO where her fame will live on and people will pay to hear her play the piano and the drums.

Anonymous said...

I live in Missouri...in the Ozarks, no less. OGG is correct! People come here from all over the globe to hear other goats sing and play the piano in Branson. This could work...can Crumpet sing?

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

One other thing--this is for Crumpet's eyes only, all others look away--Crumpet, it is easiest to get publicity if you cause trouble. I know you can think of something to get TMFGITW back in the news.