Monday, April 23, 2012

Milk Master Midget

Well the milk test day has come and gone.

Here is what happened.

Coco Plum slept the whole day since she was planning to do that anyway.

Coffee Bean escaped from the barn but since she is part Nubian she did not know she had escaped and she ran back in and was reapprehended. But since she is part Nubian she did not know she was reapprehended so she was just relieved. She would not take a bottle but drank freely from the farmer's elbow. Since she is part Nubian she did not know that there is no milk in the elbow.

Write this down if you are making a chart or something: there are no (zero) mammary glands in the elbow.

Anyway the mind is a powerful organ even in a Nubian and after drinking her fill of elbow milk Coffee was convinced that she needed a nap and she nodded off as usual.

Cubby and Clover guzzled freely from the bottles that were provided. For a while it was feared that Cubby might explode.

Horatio drank sparingly, just enough to get by. Clara Belle drank only a little, but gobbled extra hay.

At 9 a.m. Midget guaranteed that his gallbladder would explode if he were not reunited immediately with his beloved mother. He sang heartbreaking spirituals to himself to keep hope alive. Nobody knew the trouble he had seen. How could they?

At 10 a.m. Midget refused the bottle. "I will never drink from that bottle!" he screamed.

At 11 a.m. Midget refused the bottle.  "Please come and take me!" he beseeched the sky. "My suffering is too great for this world!"

I felt like clapping. It was quite a Passion Play.

At noon Midget refused the bottle. At 2 p.m. Midget refused the bottle.

At 3 p.m. Midget guzzled exhaustively from the bottle with a speed and dexterity not seen since the days when Tangy was a bottle baby. It was feared he might explode. A murmur of awe went up from the gallery.

When you see a Milk Master, a true Milk Master,  you must tip your hat, one professional to another.

Well played, Midget.


Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Lighter held high in the air! Encore! Encore! You crack me up!!!!

Mary said...

LOL! Hilarious. This post made my morning so far. :) I love love love goats. My husband and i dream of having a few one day when he retires and we can move out of the Portland, OR suburbs. Only dairy goats though. (i am a cheese lover to the core of my being.) Thanks again for a great post..


Karen C said...

Standing ovation for Midget!

Marigold said...

Midget and Peanut. Peanut and Midget. I think there seems to be some sort of corollary here - or maybe mama's-boyedness - or maybe it is a hereditary thing. At any rate, the drama gene seems firmly ensconced.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, Bravo, ban the bottle! Stomp, Snort, Spit on false teats! Until hunger prevails.