Thursday, February 09, 2012

The Dismount

I decided to start a column for first fresheners because it is almost springtime and the kidding season is upon us and I have a lot of experience and so I thought I would pass it along. So this is Chapter One in my parenting column.

Okay, when you have your kids at first they are fine. Probably they will be pretty adorable. Not as adorable as mine but probably pretty presentable. You will get fairly attached to them.

But after a while you have things to do or you need to get a good spot on a spool so you can soak up some sunshine in peace or you want to go into the tack room with the farmer where the treats are, unless Blue has eaten all of them which is what just happened to the pretzels but never mind that, that is another story.

Okay so by this time your kids have gotten pretty crafty and they follow you around all day trying to get milk from you. This is all they think about. Every time you stop moving they surround you and start emptying your udder like piranhas. Bless their little hearts.

So to get around this problem you need to perfect a maneuver called "The Dismount" which I am demonstrating in this photo. Sure, let them get into position and pucker up and close their little eyes and start. Then instead of running forwards or backwards just do a high-kick with both your back legs so you go up and over them. Oopsy daisy like that and then you are off and running.

Examine this photo closely for the correct technique.


Goat Girls Rule! said...

Such precision!
Such panache!
Such a beautiful under-belly!

Selkie and Sarabi said...

Oh thank you. Although our screaming for boyfriends has not worked yet, Owner is negotiating the event. Thank goodness. And it will be the first time for each of us, so we are very thankful for these most useful tips from an experienced, and wise, mother. This is the sort of thing you just can't get from a book. And we should know, we've eaten quite a few of them.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

This is absolutely the most informative blog on the internet--and the most hilariously funny! What did I know about the sanity- saving dismount before today? Nothing! Doctors should prescribe reading this blog before giving medications to patients.

Marigold said...

I know that maneuver, except I use it when the Goatmother is trying to trim my hooves. Same exact thing. Let her get started, become all complacent and WHAM! Maybe we ought to think about renaming it the Herron Hill Hop.