Red Letter Day

Well yesterday was a red letter day with the farmer going to a goat show with the farmer from Minter Bay. Once again it was a tale of two goats, with Cora Belle, aka "Showtime," fussing the whole way then striking all the perfect poses in the ring.

The farmer did not show Cora Belle, though. The farmer showed a goat named Buttons. In real life Buttons is a tiny delightful Nigerian Dwarf who could get a job tomorrow as a greeter at WalMart.

During the show, however, she did a very convincing impersonation of an angry cinderblock. In one ring she spyhopped like a miniature Orca, twisting up into the air and landing with all her weight on one of the farmer's toes. Since there is no cursing allowed at the show, all the farmer could do was chuckle fondly and say, "oh you little dickens!"

In the next ring Buttons tried to lie down and had to be dragged to her feet. "Ha ha ha!" said the farmer.

How much does she weigh? thought the farmer. A thousand pounds? The farmer made a mental note to buy a pair of steel-toed shoes before having anything to do with Buttons again.

Neither of the goats won any champion prizes because Jackie's mother won two of the three rings. The mother of my boyfriend from the drive-up buck window won the other.

Meanwhile over at Blackberry Hollow, Gracie was having her baby, Prancer the Dancer, a very cute miniMancha with sparkle ears, the best kind of ears to have. According to reports from the scene, Prancer the Dancer busted a move almost as soon as he was born.

Back at the farm, the farmer was surprised to find Maddy looking perfectly normal.

Maddy got injured a while ago and her head has been swollen for several days. The farmer was feeling very gloomy about it. Even though it didn't bother her, it started to seem that a trip to the vet was inevitable, and the farmer had been hoping to buy a little blanket harrow with that money. So the farmer was delighted to see Maddy looking almost like a normal goat.

Then the farmer went out to feed the horses. Laddy the Tennessee Walker had one of his eyes swollen almost completely shut.

Great, thought the farmer. There goes my blanket harrow. And my steel-toed shoes.

A Tale of Two Goats

My cousin Cora Belle came over yesterday for more fair walking practice for the goat show. It is incredibly dull and boring. The goat and the person walk around in a circle and that's it. That's the whole show. No popcorn or anything.

Just a goat and its person walking around in a circle joined by a few other goats and their people walking in a circle. Once in a while they stop and the person pokes the goat around a little bit, "setting it up" and making it look good. It's completely ridiculous.

I am very glad it has been decided I am not going to the fair. Anyway the whole thing was rather odd because Cora Belle seemed to enjoy it and she would let any person walk around with her, even a three year old, and would allow herself to be posed like a Gumby. I find it very strange that she is Hannah Belle's daughter; Hannah Belle will not obey anyone, not even the farmer.

But Cora Belle paraded around extensively and it was very dull until she was joined by Tangy.

Tangy used to be known as "the swordfish" for her style of walking, which is to throw herself up into the air and flap around like a marlin on a sportfishing show. We were all very impressed by it. But she has even outdone herself now.

Yesterday she was doing fair walking practice and she had a full-blown tantrum and threw herself up into the air and then flat on the ground. The farmer's friend who is a very very good showman did not let go of the collar as Tangy expected, just held on patiently with Tangy flopped completely on the ground.

Tangy refused to get up, turning her body into a boat anchor, which wasn't hard since she is the fattest yearling here. After a few minutes an ordinary goat would have gotten up, but not Tangy; instead, since she was already lying down, she took a short nap.

The farmer says she isn't going anywhere much less the state fair but I hope they do take her to the show because it was a lot more interesting than Cora Belle's style of white glove perfection. Cora Belle must get that from the Shirley Temple side of her family.



PS I forgot to mention all photos were taken by PETA representative Wendy Webster. No animals were injured but the farmer's elbow was slightly wrenched, not that anyone cares. In future we will try to get an observer from the Human Fund to insure that human injuries are kept to a minimum although there is no guarantee they can be avoided entirely since Tangy is part Nubian. Thanks.