Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Winnie, With Bling Bling

This is Winnie. Winnie is Brandy's daughter. Brandy is the herd queen. Together, Winnie and Brandy are known as the Sopranos. They go around making people offers they can't refuse.

Like for example, "get away from the alfalfa or I'll break your legs."

Or, "get up from that cushy hay pile, I feel like lying on it."

Or, "go to the end of the line or I'll bite a chunk out of your ear."

They are very direct. No time wasted on "would you mind," or "could I trouble you," or anything like that. Notice how Winnie wears a cheesy gold chain in the photo. She has the same fashion sense as Rocky Balboa.

When Brandy is not around, sometimes there is an insurrection against Winnie, and everyone will do a gang-up and push Winnie out of the barn, or shove her down the hill. Not very often, but sometimes. When Brandy is preoccupied.

But then Brandy comes back and everyone commences scurrying and kowtowing again and acting like it was all a big accident that everyone formed a scrum and steamrollered Winnie. And Winnie, oblivious as ever, goes back to thinking she is God's Gift to Goats.

Now Winnie, like Prince Charles, thinks that when Brandy decides to pass along her crown, she will be first in line. She has probably already got a speech written for the occasion. But I can tell you, that is not going to happen. Because Winnie is no Brandy. The common goats will not support her. Instead, Winnie's daughter, if she ever has one, will probably be the herd queen. Like little Prince Wills.

In fact, if Winnie has a baby girl next spring, the farmer is thinking of calling her Princess William.

Or maybe something else.

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