Peace Comes Dropping Slow

I have decided to make Cherry my Best Friend Forever and not just For Now. She is feeding my kids an extra quart of milk a day. They are as happy as three clams and as quiet as three mice. And I can finally hear myself think. PS Lori came with Fig Newtons, peanuts in the shell, and vanilla wafers. Some people really know how to visit.

A Tale of Two Udders

I would like to show you some pictures so you can see what is going on.

Here is a picture of my udder.

Here is a picture of Cherry's udder.

Ok, and now here is a picture of my babies and Cherry's little baby. We were only able to get one picture of Cherry's baby with its eyes open, because it sleeps 99 percent of the time because it is in a milk stupor. My babies are awake 99 percent of the time, so that they can say, "waa, waa, waa, more milk, more milk, more milk."

The Voting

The Spotty Name Voting (poll at left) is very close but has not generated much enthusiasm. Please review this chart to see if it will help you make a choice.

Thank you.

Get Penrose

It's like these children want milk EVERY DAY and not only that they want it FIVE OR TEN TIMES.

I can't go anywhere without them following me and the little one is always crying and putting on a show of looking tiny and shrunken. As far as conversation, it's always, "more milk, more milk, more milk."

Never anything about me, what am I thinking or would I like a Nutter Butter, or isn't my Clouseau mustache getting more and more charming, or my goodness what a pretty day. No, just more milk more milk more milk.

"THERE ISN'T ANY MORE!" I finally told them and the farmer went and got some milk from Cherry and gave it to the teeny tiny one and finally I had a moment's peace.

Then the FARMER checked to see if I had any more milk, like now I am going to feed three ravenous children and also a FARMER, and then the farmer said, "Well, maybe we can go down and get Penrose."

Penrose is the miracle milker.

GOOD IDEA! I yelled. GET PENROSE!!!!

Someone has finally uncovered a use for Wendell

Hmm, maybe I don't need Cherry after all. Wendell could probably do this, he isn't busy.

BFFN

I decided to make Cherry my best friend for now (BFFN) because she is part Nubian so it will be a big honor for her. Kindness is one of my many nice features. Anyway also I needed someone to watch my kids because I wanted to go out in the front pasture and eat blackberries and my kids are fine and everything but they kind of slow me down when I am trying to get to the best blackberry leaves before Jammies and her little butterball get there first. So anyway I made Cherry my best friend and then I said "oh Cherry by the way I am going to leave my kids with you because I am going to the front pasture so see you later thanks a lot bye."

That is how we do it in the Baby Belle family.

Anyway I forgot to mention Cherry had a kid on Saturday, just a little spindly one, and Cherry is part Nubian and so she has a big bag of milk which one little kid could never possibly hope to drink so I told my kids, "kids, Cherry has a lot of milk so if you get hungry while I am gone help yourselves see you later bye."

Cherry is from a different style of parenting where all you do all day long is gaze at your kids and say, "can I get you anything? Do you need anything? Look at you, how precious you are, would you like some more milk? WHERE DID YOU GO? Oh, there you are, don't do that again, you frightened me terribly, I thought an eagle plucked you up into the sky, how are you feeling, can I get you anything? Would you like some more milk?"

So anyway. See you later bye Cherry.

YES!

Kubby lives!

We are voting (poll at left) on Spotty's new name. Join us if you like. I don't like to give advice but obviously any name with "dowdy" in it would be inappropriate.

Pray For Kubby

Silver has turned out very very sweet. He needs a new home right away.

We are working on the new Spotty name. It may have to go to a vote, we haven't had a vote in a long time.

The tractor has broken and it is casting a pall over everything. You would not believe the long shadow of the broken tractor. We can't do this, we can't do that, the tractor is broken. Everything is a fright.

Please join us in praying for Kubby the Kubota.

Please Help Spotty

Spotty needs a new name. Here she is pictured with some of her friends and relations. Please view Spotty in her entirety before making a name suggestion. Please be aware that Spotty is a girl. She is black and white. She is extremely good-looking, obviously, and has a fantastic personality. Please do not make any bad suggestions, we already have enough of those. If you are wondering why the video is so bad it is because the farmer took it. Thank you.

Three Thousand Words

Monster Truck.

Pretty Baby.

Spotty. (Needs New Name.)

Edgewise

I have heard that all days are the same length. But some seem much longer. They go on and on.

Yesterday was one of those days.

The farmer had a lot to do. Some helpers were coming to help with chores and to start mending the fence which is bedraggled from the winter and to get hay since we ran out and won't make it to July and if you keep buying hay a bale at a time from the feedstore pretty soon you will be signing your place over to the bank and then the next thing you know we will all have to join the Big Apple Circus (see below) and I wouldn't mind seeing the world but not on horseback I prefer to travel on dry land. So anyway there was a big load of hay coming and that means getting the elevator out and making sure it works and sweeping the loft and borrowing a big hay trailer and finding someone with a four wheel drive truck to help.

So all those things were done and everyone piled into the truck to go to the big barn to get the first load of hay and I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I was trying to talk to the farmer but I couldn't get a word in edgewise. And the truck left and I circled around in my stall and made a nest.

An hour later the truck came back and then there was the clatter of the elevator and a hundred bales going up into the hayloft. I perfected my nest and laid down to push.

I pushed for a few minutes and the farmer came downstairs to get some hay hooks and I hollered, "Excuse me! Please get the special treats ready including the Gatorade and the licorice whips!"

But the farmer went on stacking hay and arranging things and nobody listened to me. Finally I heard the elevator go quiet and they all came downstairs again and by this time I screamed my unmistakable scream and the farmer finally yelled, "Millie is having her kids!" and sprang into action which would have been nice two hours before that but better late than never.

Out came the first one, Blackie, a tiny tiny tiny little girl.

Out came the next one, Pretty Baby, a small tri-color girl.

Out came the third one, Monster Truck, a strapping boy. He was backwards with one leg twisted under and the farmer pulled him out but I could have done it myself it was just a timesaver.

"My goodness," said the farmer, "you have really outdone yourself, Millie."

There were some children there and they tend to notice things and one of them said, "I think there is another one coming out."

"That is probably the afterbirth," the farmer explained.

Out came the fourth one, a beautiful girl who is going to need a better name than Spotty.

That was all.

They all got up and drank except Blackie. She was very weak. The farmer and the children helped her get some milk, but she was still too weak to stand. So she went on the bottle, but the farmer would bring her back between times and put her with the others. I tried to get her up but she could only wobble her head around a little bit.

Then the farmer tubed her and she seemed a little better. But she still couldn't stand up. I licked her while she slept. The day went on and on, with the rest of the hay coming in. Blackie slept while all the others got up and walked around. Monster Truck grew rounder and rounder, he started to look like an orange with four legs.

After the night feeding the farmer came out to get Blackie. I was trying to wake her up but I couldn't. The farmer picked Blackie up very gently and sat for a minute and petted me. I kept licking Blackie in the farmer's lap trying to wake her up.

I thought the farmer would be able to wake her up if I couldn't.

But the farmer couldn't wake her up either.

"She was very tiny, Millie," the farmer finally said. And then the farmer took Blackie away.

It was a long day. A very long day.

But not long enough.

Horse Surfing

The goats from Minter Bay will be doing this very same thing at the Key Peninsula Goat Show this summer, from what I hear.

Eating Better Through Computer Science

I do not like to exaggerate myself but I have learned quite a bit about computer science over the last few days.

It started like this: The farmer used to have a calendar made out of paper and the farmer would write all the bred dates and the due dates on the calendar and that worked fine. So the farmer decided to fix it.

The farmer made a special spreadsheet and put everything on the computer in columns. Buck, doe, bred date, due date, age at breeding, previous kiddings, time of day, temperature in fahrenheit, atmospheric conditions, level of buck enthusiasm (scale of 1 to 100), level of doe enthusiasm (scale of 1 to 10). The farmer was very pleased.

"That's nice," the farmer said. The farmer asked various visitors if they wanted to see the amazing spreadsheet. "Everything is in the computer now, on the spreadsheet," the farmer explained.

The visitors were not that interested in looking at someone else's spreadsheet. They almost all said no thanks, except the lady who said, "I would really like to, but I am late for yoga."

"I see," said the farmer, in such a tone as to convey, yes, aren't we all late for yoga.

Anyway all the breedings went in the spreadsheet. That was fine, it was almost as good as having it written down on a sheet of paper, until the computer dropped irrevocably dead.

"Oh dear," said the farmer. Now the farmer knew nothing about who was going to kid when.

Hmm, I thought. Using my knowledge of computer science I began pretending to have my kids yesterday. I laid down in the field and pushed really hard and gave a squawk. Or maybe I was just lying on a sharp rock. Anyway the farmer came running and I was taken to the barn and I have been enjoying excellent room service ever since and this morning I even got a slice of Crazy Dave's organic bread.

For a while the farmer was going to turn me back out with the have-nots, so I did a few moans. Out came the alfalfa.

That is why it is important to know a little something about computer science. And also don't give up on those sheets of paper. If you see one with important writing on it, eat it as fast as you can.

Blue Belle and Sky Blue

The Baby Blues.

Trop Belle Pour Toi

WHY is my whole family so BEAUTIFUL??? Does anybody know?

Two New Blue Belles

Blue Umbrella kidded last night. Her kids are very Belle-ish. Stay tuned for the update.

The Dean's List

Pinky got her milk test back and she got an A+. The farmer let her out to knock some more things over if she likes. "It is very boring in the barn since it is raining day and night," the farmer explained to Hannah Belle, who always gets immediate detention for knocking things over. "So it will be nice for Pinky to knock things over."

The reason why Pinky doesn't get punished is because she is incapable of forming intentions, so she can't be held accountable for her actions. Whereas Hannah Belle is incapable of not forming intentions. Also Tangy is Pinky's mother, so everything that happens to Pinky happens with nobody in loco parentis. So there you have it.

Pinky and the Brain

Pinky went walkabout.

It was a little bit sunny and she had a little bit of an upset stomach so the farmer let her out of her maternity stall to eat brush and grass to settle her stomach.

Silver went with her since he is her son and doesn't know any better.

Before going outside Pinky stopped at the little folding table by the milkstand and methodically knocked three pairs of hoof trimmers off onto the floor for no reason at all. One two three, like that.

Then she pulled 63 folded grain sacks out of the bookcase and onto the floor to cover the hoof trimmers. Then as a sort of Brechtian denouement she knocked the folding table over so that it looked very artistic lying on top of the empty grain sacks which unbeknownst to anybody were covering the three hoof trimmers which cost $15.95 each when they are on sale.

She seemed satisfied then and she went outside and knocked all the cedar boards off the porch of the cottage. They were all stacked up for a future flooring project. Then she knocked over a garbage can full of kindling. Silver scampered freely over the new woodpile in a sort of pointed commentary on the wages of photosynthesis. Then she drank all the dog water out of the dog bowl, affronting Wendell. He didn't want it, but it was DOG WATER not GOAT WATER. Then she had gotten somewhere strange that she didn't recognize - the front lawn - and she gave up on living and pitched in bawling so that the farmer came running.

All of this only took about three minutes. The farmer walked her back to the barn, gasping at the wreckage. "Just look at this," marveled the farmer. "And you are only one sixteenth Nubian."

Inside the barn the farmer started picking up grain sacks, but not before stepping onto one of the invisible pairs of hoof trimmers and bending them completely out of shape. Another $15.95 down the drain.

After all this who did the farmer blame? Not Pinky.

"Silver!" yelled the farmer. "You are half Nigerian! You are supposed to be watching her!"

Chillin' With Silver

Ever since she was a young kid, Pinky has been very good at relaxing. You might think you are relaxed and then you look over at Pinky and she is twice as relaxed as you are. Pinky's son Silver has inherited the relaxation gene, which should make him very competitive if anyone ever invents a Grand Prix of Chillin' or a Relaxathon or a World Series of Napping. Or anything along those lines.

Goats of All Nations

There is no dam way I would do this. I have my minerals delivered.