Thursday, August 24, 2006

Fair Enough?

Project Runway has begun.

The three sisters Betsy, Bertie, and Wronny (half-sisters, really) are going to the big state fair, so they had to get fair haircuts and collars. Now they are learning to walk in a fair-approved manner.

Betsy is so far getting an A+ in walking and general deportment. She will walk anywhere. More importantly, she will stop walking when you stop walking. This is one of the keys, if not the key, to civilized walking in pair formation.

Not satisfied with an A+, Betsy also comes immediately when she is called, and cleans the floor of the barn every evening, checking thoroughly in every nook and cranny for spilled grain. (Update: actually, Betsy's grade has been changed to an A++, because she likes being clipped with the big horse clippers.)

Wronny is getting a C. She will walk, reluctantly, with much tugging. Stopping is her strong point. She is always willing to stop, and checks frequently to see if you, too, might perhaps be interested in stopping dead in your tracks. Shall we stop? Shall we stop? I have an idea, why don't we stop? Let's stop, shall we? Should we stop here? What about here?

Bertie is getting an F-. Bertie alternates between absolute refusal to walk and full-out gallop punctuated by frequent 180 degree turns, grand jetes a la Baryshnikov, and abrupt - but momentary - stops. If she were a horse, she would make champion bucking stock. Her unique style of "walking" is enlivened by such screaming as would wake the dead. I wonder where she gets it? Possibly from her mother Boo?