Not much exciting happens here in the winter. Unless a tree blows down or a roof flies off or a coyote turns up in our pasture.
The winter is quite dull. Unless we get a new girl.
Last year we got Moldy the simperer.
This year Gracie is here. Gracie is not really a new girl. She was born here. She is a great-granddaughter of Marty our favorite Nubian but she is mostly LaMancha so she has improved intelligence, which is nice for her because she can find the barn by herself.
She went to live with a new family and only comes back to visit the buck during breeding season. That only happens once a year so almost everyone has forgotten her by the time she comes back. She should wear a red suit like Santa maybe that would help.
In this video she is only wearing a purple collar while everyone extends a friendly New Girl welcome to her.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Snow Day
They said it would be nice and sunny today and don't worry about snow, go about your business, go out and eat some brambles if you feel like it, but send your farmer to get extra peanuts because maybe it would snow tomorrow. So I won't even bother to tell you what is happening right now because you know what is happening.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Fool Me Once
The farmer came down and strolled around the down-below pasture.
Everyone followed the farmer as a courtesy for a few minutes. Then since the farmer had no food we went back to more important matters. Except Moldy who continued doggedly.
The farmer looked at the apple trees that had fallen over in the storm. The wood was partly cut and stacked.
"This will make a nice flavor in the pizza oven," the farmer commented to Moldy.
Then the farmer strolled a little closer to the cabana.
"Look here, Moldy," said the farmer, "this is where the morels grow in the spring."
Moldy simpered in acknowledgement.
Then the farmer strolled over to the cabana where I was lounging with Izzy and Ringo.
The farmer sat down on one of the rickety cabana benches and looked up at the sky in a slow-witted musing way. "Pizza Mit Pilz und Ziegenkase," the farmer murmured in astonishment.
Penrose and Joy and Winjay and Moldy and Abby and Brandy looked up at the sky to see what the farmer was looking at.
Izzy dived under the feeder.
The farmer looked over with a sigh at Izzy huddled just beyond arm's reach, chewing her cud shrewdly and giving the farmer a very frank stare.
"I will see you tomorrow, little lady," the farmer said, and got up from the cabana.
Izzy did not say anything but I knew what she was thinking.
Not if I see you first.
Everyone followed the farmer as a courtesy for a few minutes. Then since the farmer had no food we went back to more important matters. Except Moldy who continued doggedly.
The farmer looked at the apple trees that had fallen over in the storm. The wood was partly cut and stacked.
"This will make a nice flavor in the pizza oven," the farmer commented to Moldy.
Then the farmer strolled a little closer to the cabana.
"Look here, Moldy," said the farmer, "this is where the morels grow in the spring."
Moldy simpered in acknowledgement.
Then the farmer strolled over to the cabana where I was lounging with Izzy and Ringo.
The farmer sat down on one of the rickety cabana benches and looked up at the sky in a slow-witted musing way. "Pizza Mit Pilz und Ziegenkase," the farmer murmured in astonishment.
Penrose and Joy and Winjay and Moldy and Abby and Brandy looked up at the sky to see what the farmer was looking at.
Izzy dived under the feeder.
The farmer looked over with a sigh at Izzy huddled just beyond arm's reach, chewing her cud shrewdly and giving the farmer a very frank stare.
"I will see you tomorrow, little lady," the farmer said, and got up from the cabana.
Izzy did not say anything but I knew what she was thinking.
Not if I see you first.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Izzy, One: Farmer, Zero
Izzy went on Friendlies.
This is where they carry you up to the barn and put you on mind control to improve your friendliness. It is very unusual for Friendlies to be required in the Baby Belle family. It only makes sense to be friendly. You can't get peanuts from across the room.
The mind control involves you not getting any food unless you eat it from the farmer's hand. If you eat from the farmer's hand you get a lot of nice food and treats. If you don't eat from the farmer's hand you don't eat.
The farmer took Izzy and put her in a stall alone while all the bottle babies were out browsing. A little while later the farmer came and sat in a chair in the middle of the stall ignoring Izzy and reading a book about how to build a brick pizza oven. Izzy ran around and around the stall trying to get away from the farmer.
Unlike a Nubian she realized after two trips that since the stall was 10 foot square and the farmer was in the middle, she couldn't get any further away than five feet. So after two trips she stopped running and backed into a corner and stared at the farmer balefully.
After one chapter the farmer got up and went away.
The farmer came back with Moldy a couple of hours later. Moldy follows the farmer like flypaper. "Oh Moldy, would you like some treats?" said the farmer, and fed Moldy some grain. Moldy gobbled it greedily, simpering at Izzy from across the stall.
"Oh, Izzy," said the farmer, "would you like some grain?"
Izzy turned her back.
"I see," said the farmer, and left with Moldy.
A little while later the farmer came back and picked up the book again and said, "refractory brick," looking up at the ceiling in a slow-witted musing way. Izzy looked up too, puzzled, and the farmer abruptly caught Izzy with lightning speed and sat with Izzy in the chair, petting her.
Izzy was stiff as a board and mad as a hornet.
The farmer took out a peanut and inserted it manually into Izzy's mouth. Izzy spat it out onto the floor.
The farmer took another peanut and shoved it into Izzy's mouth and held her mouth closed for a minute so she could taste it. The farmer let go and Izzy spat the peanut out and it bounced off the stall door and plonked into the water bucket. Izzy loves peanuts.
"I see," said the farmer and got up to leave.
Two can play at any game and this time when the farmer opened the door Izzy made a bold broken field run to daylight in the style of Walter Payton and before the farmer could say "I see" she was out of the barn and through the panel gate and down the pasture and through that little wedge between the railroad tie and the down-below gate and that was that.
The farmer came down later and looked at Izzy through the fence and said, "I will see you tomorrow little lady."
Izzy pretended not to notice and did not say anything but I know what she was thinking.
Tomorrow. Who cares about tomorrow. This is today.
Monday, January 03, 2011
Izzy Goes on Friendlies
The farmer came down and took my daughter Izzy just like that.
Izzy is very very tiny and the farmer wanted to examine her. Also the farmer thought Izzy was getting unfriendly because she hadn't been put on friendlies for several reasons. For one she was born at the end of the year and this is just like people who have a lot of children and the first few have to go without cake and bicycles and they have to mow the lawn and wash the dishes and learn some manners and so on and the last few dine exclusively on Belgian chocolates flown in from Brussels and they run completely wild. Simply because the parents are too tired and worn out to resist. All the parents can do is say, "now, now."
Or sometimes they will say mildly, "put that down. I mean it, now." That is all they can muster.
Anyway everyone was too tired and worn out to put Izzy and Ringo on friendlies so they were a little bit enfants sauvages as they say in France. They did as they pleased. And they were very tiny.
And being Baby Belles they were hard to catch in a fair fight and so that is why the farmer came down without advance warning and blundered about in a typical fashion pretending not to notice anything and then grabbed Izzy with lightning speed. If it had been Cherry's daughter Bing or Mel's daughter Elbe I would have said, "touche! Nicely done!"
But under the circumstances I cried foul and so did Izzy but not to any avail, she was trundled off to the barn to be put on friendlies.
If you don't know what friendlies is I will explain it tomorrow.
Izzy is very very tiny and the farmer wanted to examine her. Also the farmer thought Izzy was getting unfriendly because she hadn't been put on friendlies for several reasons. For one she was born at the end of the year and this is just like people who have a lot of children and the first few have to go without cake and bicycles and they have to mow the lawn and wash the dishes and learn some manners and so on and the last few dine exclusively on Belgian chocolates flown in from Brussels and they run completely wild. Simply because the parents are too tired and worn out to resist. All the parents can do is say, "now, now."
Or sometimes they will say mildly, "put that down. I mean it, now." That is all they can muster.
Anyway everyone was too tired and worn out to put Izzy and Ringo on friendlies so they were a little bit enfants sauvages as they say in France. They did as they pleased. And they were very tiny.
And being Baby Belles they were hard to catch in a fair fight and so that is why the farmer came down without advance warning and blundered about in a typical fashion pretending not to notice anything and then grabbed Izzy with lightning speed. If it had been Cherry's daughter Bing or Mel's daughter Elbe I would have said, "touche! Nicely done!"
But under the circumstances I cried foul and so did Izzy but not to any avail, she was trundled off to the barn to be put on friendlies.
If you don't know what friendlies is I will explain it tomorrow.
Friday, December 31, 2010
The Years Ahead
It is New Year's Eve. Or it was three days ago. That is the time for making prompt resolutions. Or do them a few days later if you forget.
Where we are it is very cold. Maybe it is the same by you or maybe you live in Australia. I don't know. I can only go by the way things are here. But this is true everywhere, so it doesn't really matter.
If you want to make a change, you have to start in your little corner of the world.
In my little corner of the world I am going to make some changes.
1. I am going to have more fun and eat more.
2. I am going to try to be more patient with animals of low intelligence (Nubians and Nubian crosses, bucks, boston terriers, farmers.) I have made a mental note, for example, that yelling does not cause the farmer to move any faster.
3. (related to 2) It has been proven that farmers get slower with each passing year, and this is just something you have to accept. I do not expect the farmer to speed up any and I must try to remain encouraging. Note to self: Brandy is very good at this, she still thinks the farmer is her baby, and just yesterday she was murmuring unwarranted enthusiasms. "Just look at you! You got your boots on after all! See!" Etc.
4. Sometimes other animals do not understand what you are saying. This is true everywhere. You must try to speak more plainly and not head butt them. (related to 3 and 2)
5. Try to get more candy and peanuts somehow. The candy and peanuts have slowed to a trickle. Cookies are nonexistent. May need to contact outside sources. (related to 1.)
6. Look to the years ahead. I don't know what this means but it is on an old John Deere plaque we have in our barn, so it must mean something. Follow my example, and look to the years ahead. We can't do anything about the years behind, anyway.
Where we are it is very cold. Maybe it is the same by you or maybe you live in Australia. I don't know. I can only go by the way things are here. But this is true everywhere, so it doesn't really matter.
If you want to make a change, you have to start in your little corner of the world.
In my little corner of the world I am going to make some changes.
1. I am going to have more fun and eat more.
2. I am going to try to be more patient with animals of low intelligence (Nubians and Nubian crosses, bucks, boston terriers, farmers.) I have made a mental note, for example, that yelling does not cause the farmer to move any faster.
3. (related to 2) It has been proven that farmers get slower with each passing year, and this is just something you have to accept. I do not expect the farmer to speed up any and I must try to remain encouraging. Note to self: Brandy is very good at this, she still thinks the farmer is her baby, and just yesterday she was murmuring unwarranted enthusiasms. "Just look at you! You got your boots on after all! See!" Etc.
4. Sometimes other animals do not understand what you are saying. This is true everywhere. You must try to speak more plainly and not head butt them. (related to 3 and 2)
5. Try to get more candy and peanuts somehow. The candy and peanuts have slowed to a trickle. Cookies are nonexistent. May need to contact outside sources. (related to 1.)
6. Look to the years ahead. I don't know what this means but it is on an old John Deere plaque we have in our barn, so it must mean something. Follow my example, and look to the years ahead. We can't do anything about the years behind, anyway.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Dogs Can Be So Helpful
Rain Rain Go Away
We only got about five inches of rain during the Atmospheric River. No big deal. We have never seen Lost Beaver Lake so high though, and now it is pouring again when they promised the rain was over. Obviously it hurts one's feelings even if one is only mildly flooded. Expressions of concern and sympathy, in the form of ginger snaps or licorice, can be sent to the following address:
Million Belles
c/o Herron Hill Dairy
Home, Wa.
Please put a little note: to be opened by addressee only and not any of addressee's so-called friends.
Thanks.
Million Belles
c/o Herron Hill Dairy
Home, Wa.
Please put a little note: to be opened by addressee only and not any of addressee's so-called friends.
Thanks.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Dive! Dive! Dive!
The weather people I guess got a new boss or something because they have changed the name of the thing they used to call "The Pineapple Express." Maybe that sounded too jolly, like there would be music and grass skirts (yum) and hula dancing instead of torrential downpours and water up to your neck.
Speaking of grass skirts (yum) Maddy (The Sheriff of Crazy Town) is in trouble for eating a broom. She has a long neck and she just reached over the stall wall and helped herself. It was hanging on a hook on the wall, which was a strategic error. She only ate the bottom sweeping part but still she got the riot act like she even cares. I wouldn't eat a broom myself unless it was made of wheat straw.
Anyway I got off track. "The Pineapple Express" is coming in a couple of hours. Only now it is called an "Atmospheric River." We are battening. Or actually, we are watching the farmer batten. The last time we had a big "Atmospheric River" we got nine inches of rain. Around here, since we are on a hill, once you get to three or four inches it really doesn't matter any more.
So that's what's happening. Not news, really, it happens every year. But we all look forward to the day when "The Pineapple Express" aka "The Atmospheric River" will be called "A Ton of Third Cutting Dairy Alfalfa from Eastern Oregon" or "All the Field Peas You Can Eat" or even "A Big Bag of Black Licorice."
I am practicing for that sweet day with some vocal exercises.
"A Big Bag of Black Licorice" is coming! Hold on to your beards!
Speaking of grass skirts (yum) Maddy (The Sheriff of Crazy Town) is in trouble for eating a broom. She has a long neck and she just reached over the stall wall and helped herself. It was hanging on a hook on the wall, which was a strategic error. She only ate the bottom sweeping part but still she got the riot act like she even cares. I wouldn't eat a broom myself unless it was made of wheat straw.
Anyway I got off track. "The Pineapple Express" is coming in a couple of hours. Only now it is called an "Atmospheric River." We are battening. Or actually, we are watching the farmer batten. The last time we had a big "Atmospheric River" we got nine inches of rain. Around here, since we are on a hill, once you get to three or four inches it really doesn't matter any more.
So that's what's happening. Not news, really, it happens every year. But we all look forward to the day when "The Pineapple Express" aka "The Atmospheric River" will be called "A Ton of Third Cutting Dairy Alfalfa from Eastern Oregon" or "All the Field Peas You Can Eat" or even "A Big Bag of Black Licorice."
I am practicing for that sweet day with some vocal exercises.
"A Big Bag of Black Licorice" is coming! Hold on to your beards!
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