Monday, March 12, 2018

The Footstool and the Ottoman

Some funny things happened. Eo and Winnie both turned 15, one was decrepit with a bowlegged hitch in her giddyup. The other was fit and cuddly as a hyena, steely-eyed as ever. Tangy aka Tanjy aka Tangerine suggested a big fiesta with quinceanera dresses.

"Whuh?" said Winnie. Eo said nothing, as usual, but took a mental note to t-bone Tangy later, when she was least expecting it, ideally when she was standing next to a tree trunk, for maximum effect.

We also had these new imported twins who became the all-time name champions for having the most names ever that didn't stick. First they had some names that they came with. Then they had some new names. They were twins from Oregon, two Belle Starr granddaughters.

They weren't much to look at, one was very scraggly and sickly for a while, then perked up. They flew about like swallows, ducking through gaps and fence holes. They were the ones the sonnet was written about: if your fence will not hold water, it will not hold goats. That is not a sonnet by the way. It is something else. I will think of it later.

Anyway they were two little flibbertigibbets, the shape of water and the color of the wind, and the fence would not hold them, they flowed here and there, seeking their own level, and always arriving just in time for dinner. So for a while they were called Ebb and Flo.

They were too nimble and spry to ever be t-boned, and champion flee-ers. When in doubt they would flee, nimbly and spryly. So after their first few sets of names wore off they were called Nimble and Spry, but that sounded too much like a law firm.

They were both POGs, people-oriented-goats, and loved to be brushed. They would stand forever to be brushed, eyes half-closed and mouths hanging ajar. Typical POGs. For a while they were called Poggy and Sue.

They started to grow bigger but the spindly one still had a squarish, ungainly, boxy quality. Goats who are going to be pretty later often have this quality. The strapping one began to add padding, first over the rump, them over the back, then down under the neck, then everywhere. This happened gradually, then suddenly. Goats who are going to be fat later often have this quality.

Anyway they came into a new set of names with this development. The well-padded one was called The Ottoman. Ottoman like the Empire. The ungainly one was called The Footstool. Footstool like the thing you put your feet on.

Those names are just for now. Something better will come along. Won't it?

The Footstool & The Ottoman

1 comment :

Midas P Goat esq said...

Thank God my weekly check of this blog for what seemed like forever has finally paid off! Such torture waiting so long! It proves that I don't have the attention span of a Nubian. WOOHOO!