Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Crumpet 2.0

Crumpet, aka Crumpy Dumps, was getting sick and tired of sitting in the second fiddle section. She had gone to the trouble of growing to an almost-normal height while remaining supremely adorable and she just wasn't getting the right amount of attention or anything close to it. She thought things might improve if she changed her name. You know, a rebranding.

Crumpet 2.0, only it wouldn't be Crumpet it would be something more victorious-and-important-sounding. Crumpet was a little too cute, especially for TMFGITW. She needed a nom de plume.

She also needed a plume, she used to have one but it seems like Moony might have eaten it. What is the point of having a nom de plume if you don't have a plume.

"What is a plume?" asked Moony.

"Be quiet," Eo explained.

Crumpet had developed a ragamuffin posse of outcasts which included Dinky and Blue from the Betweenlands, Belle Starr, that little gray one, Sasquatch the Bold, June Bug part of the time when she wasn't busy thieving and skedaddling, and Dill Pickle. They surged around together like a rogue Girl Scout troop, sneaking food from the unsuspecting, t-boning babies, performing complicated commando raids requiring split-second timing.

"Is there another kind of timing?" asked Moony.

"Zip it up," snapped Eo.

Crumpet discussed with the posse the need for a new name, something powerful and triumphant -- something brassy. But easy to remember.

"If you change your name how will people know who you are?" wondered Moony.

Eo walked away. She couldn't take any more.

"By looking at me," said Crumpet.

Belle Starr had an idea for a name. It was perfect, like all her ideas. A name that was victorious-and-important-sounding. And also brassy, very brassy. But easy to remember, and really not much different from Crumpet.

"How about Trumpet?"

---to be cont. ---