It was decided by the power that be (Eo) that Crumpet would approach the Boston Terror and explain to it our rules for dog behavior and the consequences that might result from any rule-breakings.
"Why me?" asked Crumpet.
"Why not?" said Eo, and this proved to be a stumper. Crumpet went up toward the barn to explain the rules.
1. No chasing.
2. No barking.
3. No unsolicited opinions or offers of fake "assistance." This includes "helping" anyone to finish their dinner.
We watched with interest as Crumpet sallied forth, radiating confidence and bureaucracy despite her hamsterly size. She had gotten almost to the barn when the Terror came bounding toward her in an unnervingly friendly manner, barking gaily. Nonetheless we expected Crumpet to deliver our ultimatums and bylaws in a professional fashion but instead she turned tail and ran in abject terror, with a 4-inch tall Boston Terror nipping delightedly at her pasterns.
"The Most Famous Goat in the World," Jammies mentioned mournfully as Crumpet pronged toward the cabana.
"All right," said Eo, "let's go to Plan B."