tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104387892024-03-12T20:38:14.770-07:00This Goat's LifeDiary of a Dairy Goat. This blog is the diary of one goat, Baby Belle, a Nigerian Dwarf who lives on a small dairy farm in Western Washington.goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.comBlogger956125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-35045465059351968362023-09-27T08:36:00.000-07:002023-09-27T08:36:28.149-07:00Late for the SkyYears ago I inherited a horse, an old appaloosa named Mo. He came with the farm. I had never had a horse before, or even been around horses, so I thought all horses were like Mo. If you sat down in the pasture he would come and lie down next to you and put his big head in your lap. If you were riding him, and started to slip off because you a) hadn't cinched the saddle properly and b) couldn't goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-22635753251845349362021-02-14T15:35:00.000-08:002021-02-14T15:35:38.873-08:00Ran When ParkedWell the farmer went to start the generator to see if it was all ready for the winter storm and would start properly. It would not. "That's funny," the farmer said to Dolly. "it worked last time." Dolly made a face of deep dismay, she is very good at that. Well it is probably something simple like bad gas said the farmer and drained out the gas and put new gas and tried to see if it would goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-69077815471440632962018-06-24T23:44:00.000-07:002018-06-25T20:33:24.585-07:00Cherry's Magic Milk
Golly had her twins there were two of them. One was flashy with blue eyes and frosting. That was Pancake. One was as plain as the nose on your face, just a little black goat. That was Pixie.
They were small like most baby goats and they went freely back and forth between the fence boards, going in and out of their pasture where they were supposed to stay. Especially Pixie. Pixie was half goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-61457920184457795162018-04-22T10:05:00.001-07:002018-04-23T10:27:36.103-07:00Ask a LibrarianThe Ottoman was captured and put in a holding pen, a 100% foolproof holding pen, because she was causing headaches. The Footstool ran around screaming. The Ottoman screamed back to the Footstool.
"Ottoman!" screamed the Footstool.
"I'm in here!" screamed the Ottoman, from inside the foolproof holding pen in the barn.
"Come out!" screamed the Footstool.
"I'm in here!" screamed the Ottoman.
goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-85988733195034238272018-03-12T08:51:00.000-07:002018-03-18T21:31:12.397-07:00The Footstool and the OttomanSome funny things happened. Eo and Winnie both turned 15, one was decrepit with a bowlegged hitch in her giddyup. The other was fit and cuddly as a hyena, steely-eyed as ever. Tangy aka Tanjy aka Tangerine suggested a big fiesta with quinceanera dresses.
"Whuh?" said Winnie. Eo said nothing, as usual, but took a mental note to t-bone Tangy later, when she was least expecting it, ideally when shegoatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-36259435923351455512017-09-05T15:17:00.000-07:002017-12-02T08:47:19.830-08:00The Pipes The Pipes Are Not CallingOkay the Ceremony of the measuring of TMFGITW has been cancelled owing to it is supposed to get really hot and it is smoky and ashy from all the fires burning around here. It will be done when it is not hot and smoky and ashy. Also the goats who went to the fair are on quarantine because Golly for one was caught in the act of licking a really grimy barn railing probably covered in goat influenza goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-9303530632225213912017-09-03T06:25:00.002-07:002017-09-03T06:25:55.570-07:00TMFGITW On Tuesday after the Fair there will be a ceremonial measuring of Crumpet. Crumpet has been throwing down with Belle Starr and doing t-bonings on anyone who looks cross-eyed at her. She thinks she is all that. And she looks bigger. She will be measured.goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-39664706373246021432017-08-30T08:05:00.000-07:002017-08-31T08:07:34.374-07:00Bed, Bath and OpinionsGilbert is thinking of opening an opinion store where he can sell his extra opinions. He has a lot of them. Maybe it could go in a mall somewhere next to Tanjy's opinion store and Moony's opinion store and Marti's half-price opinions, buy one get one free. Eo would have an opinion store too but it would just be called "No." Goats would come up and ask questions like 'in your opinion do I look goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-79323704951775544652017-06-29T10:16:00.000-07:002017-06-29T10:16:55.432-07:00The Three Little ThingsThe three little barbarians lived in a stall with Wembley at night. There was something about them that made Moony keep asking: what are they?
Moony exists in a state of eternal surprise and she would see them and marvel: what are they?
"They are just from Oregon is all," I tried to explain but talk about deaf ears. Ok during the day they learned immediately about hole-seeking and they would begoatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-9340989609216184562017-06-18T11:11:00.000-07:002017-06-18T11:11:52.419-07:00screamspringenWell the farmer called a staff meeting and everyone clumped together.
I don't remember the exact words of the speech but it was something to this effect: "Now there is some new doelings here and they are going to come out in the herd soon and I want everyone to know that these are ivy league goats and they come from a high-class background where everything is nice and not just a bunch of goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-83561668038679568302017-06-07T13:11:00.000-07:002017-06-07T13:17:02.636-07:00No Lifeguard on Duty, EitherThat should take care of it.
goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-51816186666056111682017-06-02T14:34:00.000-07:002017-06-02T14:34:21.471-07:00New in TownThe farmer went on a road trip in the little red truck and and when the farmer came back there were three Nigerian doelings in the back of the truck.
"Probably someone put them in there at a rest stop," Clover surmised. Clover has been to the state fair so she is an expert on most things.
One was mostly black, one was mostly white, and one was black and white. The black one was screaming in a goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-60621329255497145612017-05-19T07:42:00.001-07:002017-05-19T07:42:46.629-07:00Posse of One~~~....cont.~~~
A silence like goatberries in the water bucket fell.
Or should it be: a silence fell like goatberries in the water bucket?
Anyway, a silence fell. Like goatberries in the water bucket.
Finally Crumpet spoke. "Trumpet," she mused. "I see."
"It's brassy," explained Belle Starr.
"I see," said Crumpet, squinting her eyes like a conqueror: "Trumpet."
"Would this mean that goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-58483031789949685622017-05-16T09:25:00.000-07:002017-05-16T09:25:25.808-07:00Crumpet 2.0Crumpet, aka Crumpy Dumps, was getting sick and tired of sitting in the second fiddle section. She had gone to the trouble of growing to an almost-normal height while remaining supremely adorable and she just wasn't getting the right amount of attention or anything close to it. She thought things might improve if she changed her name. You know, a rebranding.
Crumpet 2.0, only it wouldn't be goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-75997546182884438752017-05-10T20:04:00.000-07:002017-05-11T10:07:50.551-07:00Running Up That Hill
Sometimes there isn’t really anything you can say. Tommy was
32.
For some reason the farmer told everybody that he was 31.
“How old is he now?” people would ask.
And the farmer would say, "he's 31."
Who are those people anyway, they don't know Tommy. What business is it of theirs how old he is. They don't know how he went up that hill that time. That hill that was way too goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-36701007107076451592017-04-12T09:30:00.000-07:002017-04-12T09:47:07.580-07:00Crumpy's Tender HeartCrumpy enjoys a delicious breakfast whilst the unwashed masses wait foodlessly in their muddy mud pit. How sad for the UM in their MMP, thinks Crumpy. I wish there was something I could do to help them. Maybe a GoFeedMe or something? Or people could donate little crocheted mud socks they could wear? If only they had gotten more famous, like me, the public might care more. Oh well. A few more peasgoatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-9313283635797231622017-04-03T13:19:00.001-07:002017-04-03T13:19:05.085-07:00Outside the Lines With Belle and CrumpetButterbean was getting a lot of attention just for the simple fact of not having a tail which can hardly be considered an accomplishment and June Bug was still making headlines and Coco luckily had that shed fall on her which made her famous for what seemed like a long spell - hello! I am Coco! The shed victim! I accept your admiration! - and Gilbert was learning to pull a cart and the goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-31898721923788626142017-03-25T12:38:00.000-07:002017-03-27T07:09:31.059-07:00The Tail of WoeThe sun came out and Beanie and friends forgot about their horns. The horns they used to one day be going to have. But not any more.
They went outside with their mothers on full display to the rest of the herd. The herd watched from behind the fat girl fence.
"That one looks okay," said Winjay, referring to Nelly. "Not great but okay."
"That one is reasonably presentable," said Belle Starr, goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-60919093891139106692017-03-24T12:35:00.000-07:002017-03-24T12:35:49.535-07:00All Good Dreamers Pass This WayToday is a day of bitterness and regret and we will not say anything further about the secrets of Beanie Baby until the sun comes out again and the fog of remorse has lifted. On this day in the Year A.D. 2017 Beanie, Nelly, Blacky* and Bluey* all had their horns removed. They have no comment on anything today. They don't want nobody coming over to their table, they got nothing to talk to anybody goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-34259656454377494302017-03-22T11:43:00.001-07:002017-03-22T11:44:45.883-07:00Beanie BabySo that makes four kids, three bucklings and one doeling. Two of the bucklings are extraordinarily handsome, and the doeling is very beautiful, a cou clair with big glassy frog eyes. Her name is going to be Nelly, short for Cochranella, which is a kind of glass frog with big glassy frog eyes, like an amphibian china doll. If you are guessing that her mother is Froggy you are on the right track.
goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-26473516124255074892017-03-17T09:20:00.002-07:002017-03-17T09:20:41.188-07:00Seven Ways From SundaySo Wembley started in to laboring and the farmer got the stool for sitting on, the Kindle for reading, the towels, the gatorade, the special treats, the dental floss for the baby goat cords, the iodine for the dipping, the gloves I don't know why because they never get used, the lube because if you don't have it you will always need it, the feed sack for catching babies when they fall out, et goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-31451721262399575062017-03-16T09:42:00.002-07:002017-03-17T08:45:53.056-07:00Beyond the RumenTime out from June Bug.
Wembley and Froggy were getting ready to kid. They were neither one very big and the farmer hoped poor Wembley wasn't going to pop a big single buck kid because she is a first freshener and first fresheners have enough trouble anyway but the way things go that's what would probably happen, a big single buck kid with a head like a basketball and stupefied the way the big goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-56018940901532923602017-03-11T16:25:00.000-08:002017-03-11T16:25:13.034-08:00The HoG Pt 3All right ok June comes from the Jupiter line and the Jupiter line of course is all Rosasharn and Rosasharn of course like every other line goes back Goodwood and Stonewall because that is where all roads lead, even Twinks Pixie goes back Goodwood. I didn't say it would be interesting I just said it would be history.
These lines were brought in because even though they are different from the goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-43690733234141622482017-03-04T12:46:00.000-08:002017-03-04T12:46:44.684-08:00The History of Goats Part TwoOk where were we. June.
Ok June is the daughter of Starlord who goes back Drops of Jupiter top and bottom as previously mentioned. How Drops of Jupiter got his name is probably the same way most goats get their name. He was probably named by a girl. And Drops of Jupiter is a girls' pop song by the group Train that came out in 2001, as also previously mentioned in Part One.
There are tons of goatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10438789.post-48341921132838815032017-03-03T09:22:00.001-08:002017-03-03T09:22:17.089-08:00The History of Goats Part OneThe story of June.
June was born into a normal family with normal parents. Reasonably normal parents. Her parents were Faraway and Starlord. It turned out that Starlord was fairly small. Gradually the Nigerian bucks keep creeping up in size and some of them were getting too big especially since the Belle family usually runs to plus sizes this is because they are really good milkers. Faraway is agoatfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14176633716894328115noreply@blogger.com2