Fire in the Hole

I am still here. It is 4th of july, everyone's least favorite holiday of the year. We are all getting huddled in the barn in preparation for the horrifying night of country artillery. I am going to have my kids soon but not right yet. They are not going to be the last kids of the year. Joemma is going to have kids too. The father of her babies is one of the wethers. Their tale of forbidden love will be told later. The rocket's red glare is already starting all around us. So I will say adieu for now.

Song of Myself

A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks. Alice over at Minter Bay shot out a set of triplets. Alice is Binky's little sister, and she shares the much-coveted Betsy family stealth kidding gene. Unlike Peaches who likes to make the thing into a miniseries, the Betsy family can kid between commercials.

Anyway that is all very interesting if you have nothing better to talk about but nothing has been written about me in a very long time.

I am almost one year old. I am one of the prettiest and most charming goats in the world. I have an incredibly wonderful personality and an adorable black "Clouseau" mustache. I am good at being carried around and accepting admiration.

My favorite goat is my mother, Belle Pepper. I go everywhere with her. She is a very good mother even though she ran out of milk a couple of months ago which is unfortunate since Nigerian goat milk is very good. It's the nectar of the gods. I am keeping her for my mother anyway though instead of switching to Penrose.

I do not really like LaManchas except Xie Xie. Big Orange is fine though. Wronny doesn't bother me too much. I guess I could live with Binky if I had to. Ziggy isn't completely awful. Brandy is an old bag so I just avoid her and there is no way she could catch me if it came down to it. That little slow-witted pink one is all right too, I kind of like her.

Actually I guess it is just Winnie I don't like. She knows everything and the price too.

I do not really like minis that much either except technically Jammies and Bumblebee are minis and they are tolerable. I guess Eo is ok too, all she ever does is sit around plotting to overthrow the government. If you ask her what she is doing she says "why?" and makes a mental note of it on the docket of disgruntlement that she carries around in her head.

Eo Docket Entry, in re "Lawsuit Against the World": Millie asked me what I was doing again. Why?

I am getting ready for my birthday party and for my kids' birthday party. I am expecting a lot of presents. I would like a forest green satin jacket for the Fair, monogrammed with HH (Herron Hill) on one side, and MB (Million Belles) on the other, so no one else can wear it. If it doesn't have the MB there are certain parties (Moldy) who might try to take it and pretend it is their jacket. I would like a bag of ginger snaps. I would like some apple peels, a pumpkin scone with orange frosting, and 200 raisins. New ones, not old dried-out dust-covered ones from someone's pocket.

You can send me these things care of the farm, with a nice note. And maybe a Starbuck's gift card tucked inside.

Thank you for thinking of me. How kind you are.