The Cork Fell Out

Well, I should have known no one but me would read the schedule. Peaches was supposed to have her kids, and then Binky, but today Binky had twin doelings without even asking Peaches whether it was her turn. Too late to put them back in, they have already drunk about a gallon of milk. They're darling.

The farmer went up to Port Orchard over the weekend and met Willen's brother. Willen's brother can jump four feet even though his butt is definitely not any bigger than Willen's. His owner said he is good at jumping but needs a long runway to get up to to speed, kind of like a 747. She is taking him with her to college in the fall when she goes. I don't think Willen would do very well at college, even though he once ate part of a book. There was cake frosting on it.

Peaches continues to grow larger, defying all odds.

The farmer is going to make some special cheeses, spring cheeses, even though the rain is pouring down in a very November-like fashion.

Giant Peach

Stand back, Bumbles! That thing could go off!

Scenes From the Goat Show

The 'fun' begins.




















See you later, sucker. We are on our way to a goat show.






























If you ever see this sign, pull over.























Cora Belle scopes out the competition.





















Excitement (I think that's what it was?) fills the air as the show gets under way.

Binky and the Giant Peach and The Time

It is the nature of the time to have come. And it has. Well, it almost has. Well anyway, the time has come close.

Only three are left to kid. Peaches, aka the Giant Peach, is supposed to kid next week. If she doesn't explode first. She looks like a gigantic orange duck on ice skates.

Then there is Binky. By this time Binky, who is the daughter of Xie Xie, who is the daughter of Betsy, who is the daughter of Stacy, is only 12.5% Nubian. (That's four begats, isn't it?) But sometimes numbers don't tell the whole story.

Everyone agrees Binky is darling. Even visitors will say it.

"She isn't very pretty, is she?" one of them will say, admiring Binky's 12.5% Nubian horsehead as she saunters around looking for the barn.

"No," the other will say. "But she's darling."

We sometimes have to show Binky things. Like the barn. Over here, Binky, the barn is over here. It's the big white building. Do you remember it now?

This what we're eating it's called 'alfalfa.' It's a cute name, isn't it?

This is a 'fence,' Binky. You can't just go through it, you have to jump over. It's no good just sticking your head in and crying.

Anyway, we help her when we can if it isn't any trouble.

After the Giant Peach, Binky will kid.

That will clear the stage for the main event. In July, the last babies of the season will be born.

Mine.

Sprung

The spring is our favorite time of year because all the new babies are born and we get to meet them all. But it can also be sad, because most of the babies leave to go to new homes. Spud left, and Ivar left, and Mac left, and Frosty and Sparkles left.

And then last weekend Corky and Clarence left.

But Acorn, their triplet sister, stayed here.

For the last two days she has been standing at the fenceline gazing out blankly. Then she goes and lies alone in a corner of the baby barn.

We are going to have a Jamboree this year in celebration of Baby Belle's Birthday. I think that will cheer everyone up.

The farmer already told Acorn she can be in the baby goat races.

She is a fast runner, and I hope she wins.

Red Letter Day

Well yesterday was a red letter day with the farmer going to a goat show with the farmer from Minter Bay. Once again it was a tale of two goats, with Cora Belle, aka "Showtime," fussing the whole way then striking all the perfect poses in the ring.

The farmer did not show Cora Belle, though. The farmer showed a goat named Buttons. In real life Buttons is a tiny delightful Nigerian Dwarf who could get a job tomorrow as a greeter at WalMart.

During the show, however, she did a very convincing impersonation of an angry cinderblock. In one ring she spyhopped like a miniature Orca, twisting up into the air and landing with all her weight on one of the farmer's toes. Since there is no cursing allowed at the show, all the farmer could do was chuckle fondly and say, "oh you little dickens!"

In the next ring Buttons tried to lie down and had to be dragged to her feet. "Ha ha ha!" said the farmer.

How much does she weigh? thought the farmer. A thousand pounds? The farmer made a mental note to buy a pair of steel-toed shoes before having anything to do with Buttons again.

Neither of the goats won any champion prizes because Jackie's mother won two of the three rings. The mother of my boyfriend from the drive-up buck window won the other.

Meanwhile over at Blackberry Hollow, Gracie was having her baby, Prancer the Dancer, a very cute miniMancha with sparkle ears, the best kind of ears to have. According to reports from the scene, Prancer the Dancer busted a move almost as soon as he was born.

Back at the farm, the farmer was surprised to find Maddy looking perfectly normal.

Maddy got injured a while ago and her head has been swollen for several days. The farmer was feeling very gloomy about it. Even though it didn't bother her, it started to seem that a trip to the vet was inevitable, and the farmer had been hoping to buy a little blanket harrow with that money. So the farmer was delighted to see Maddy looking almost like a normal goat.

Then the farmer went out to feed the horses. Laddy the Tennessee Walker had one of his eyes swollen almost completely shut.

Great, thought the farmer. There goes my blanket harrow. And my steel-toed shoes.

All Pepe is Saying...

Guess Again

Only two paltry passengers (deux, dos, zwei) disembarked from the dirigible. That's right, two. And they were not even very big. Good guesses, though.

All Ashore That's Going Ashore

We know how many kids were packed into this 300-gallon drum, because a couple of days ago they came out. Would you care to take a guess? Go ahead.

Rules Schmools

The farmer decided regretfully to let Jammies keep her milk for a couple of weeks until her little Bumblebee gets bigger. In my opinion the little Bumblebee is already too fat, but of course no one asked me. Rotundity is a common problem in the Jammies family.

Anyway this morning the farmer milked all the greedy milkers in the milk parlor. As usual Joy waited until last and then tried to dawdle by eating in super slow motion and pretending to have important ideas. The farmer started taking the milk machine apart to scrub and had it halfway washed before Joy finally ran out of food.

"All right then," said the farmer grumpily, and booted Joy out. In just a minute a polite tapping came at the outside hatch door, which is only supposed to be used for an exit. This is a strict rule in fact. Usually when someone tries to come in the exit, the farmer throws a pitcher of cold water on them.

But this time for some reason the farmer yanked open the hatch, and there was Jammies with her little bag of candy, asking to be milked.

"Come in, come in, come in," said the farmer, beaming.

The New Triplets

All our big does had triplets this year. Big Orange followed suit with two boys and a girl. One is white, one is black, one is reddish brown. Their names are Corky, Clarence and Acorn.

Acorn is the girl. For a big baby, she is not that unattractive.