Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Goat of the Year Part Three: Hanging Chad?

Well I am not surprised to report that there have been a few complaints that a certain contestant who shall remain nameless (Scouty) is cheating in the Goat-Of-The-Year Poll and should be disqualified for the offense of ballot box stuffing. I personally agree with the anonymous complainant who thinks that a certain goat who shall remain nameless (Scouty) should be disqualified. Unfortunately there are two factors which will prevent this.

1. Scouty is not capable of the premeditation required for willful cheating. It took her two years to realize that a baseball cap is not a living thing sitting on a person's head.

2. There is no cheating in this poll, which is being conducted according to the International "American Idol" electoral college rules. Vote early, vote often, vote in the dark, vote at work, vote at home, vote on vacation, vote in the airport, vote at Starbucks, vote at the mall, vote in the car, vote in the barn, vote in the milk parlor, etc.

Oh well. I'm sure I will win anyway when my law-abiding fans realize that it is okay to VOTE FOR ME AS MANY TIMES AS THEY WANT. Okay.

The G-O-T-Y voting will conclude at midnight PST on December 31. The Goat-of-the-Year will be announced on New Year's Day.