Monday, February 09, 2015

Kidder's Guide, Part Two

Okay now you have had your kids. They are 'on the ground' as the farmers like to say which I don't understand because where else would they be, they aren't pteradactyls. They are walking around yelling and searching for milk, unless they are bucklings. If they are bucklings, they may be laying limp and dazed in the straw, wondering why they got ejected from their comfy hot tub. If necessary you can go Jammies on them and give them a couple of kicks in the ribs. This will usually get them started. (That is where the 'kickstarter' web site gets its name, fyi.)

Anyway, your job is done.

Let's say you had a lot of kids and they were kind of tangled up and one of them has twisted legs or is walking on his knuckles or something like that. What should you do?

Nothing. He will be fine in a couple of days. Your job is done.

Now you must concentrate on eating. Eat as much as you can as rapidly as possible. Complain loudly if they try to foist grass hay on you. Demand 4th cutting alfalfa.

No need to fawn any longer.

Your job is done.


22 comments :

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

This is good information. Thanks.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

You know, I would just add that if baby goats were pteradactyls --and who came up with that spelling?--I think that would be way cool.

Willow Fen Farm Goats said...

Oh! Fourth cutting alfalfa hay... Heavenly!

Karen C said...

So glad the goats are back to blogging!

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Millie, after ruminating on this post--oh, and by the way, is there a limit to the number of times I can comment on a post? This makes 3 for me--I have to regretfully say I think you are wrong. You are not done after the kids are "on the ground." You have to CLEAN them off, for heaven's sake! They don't hit the ground looking like calendar goats, you know. And then you have to FEED them. Eat, eat, eat that's what they want to do many times a day and sometimes at night for 3 whole months! Now, if the farmer decides to feed them herself, well, all you have to do is produce milk for the farmer every day, every day which means your job is NOT done. No, I'm afraid the truth is "A mama goat's job is not done for a long time after her baby is born."

Respectfully submitted,
Ozarks Goat Girl

Marigold said...

I might add, unless they are Alpine kids. Then they would be flying. Not like pteradactyls, but flying anyway. They have to start practicing their bully skills as soon as the
Or, come to think of it, might be different if they are Fainting Goats, in which case they hit the ground laying down and likely stay that way. They have to practice too. Either way, you are right. Your job is done.

Anonymous said...

Slightly off topic: I just read the nonsense about flowers blooming and hummingbirds arriving on the FB page...we are buried under snow with no sign of ever seeing flowers again...plenty of birds but they are not humming - just eating us out of house and home. Going insane here with goat kids needing to run and play OUTSIDE!! This is NOT my idea of an early spring...thank you.

Carolyn James said...

There must be so many interesting things going on!
I hope all is OK there. Please, you have habituated us to reading your interesting stories and it has been so long ago that we had a fairly steady stream of them.

Erik said...

Didn't realize until today that you were back! I missed you, Baby Belle!

Anonymous said...

Is anyone there? Hello? Being knee deep in goat kids is no excuse for abandoning your loyal following of ardent fans...you know? How are we supposed to continue through life's twists and turns without the guidance and support of our goat guru? You should know that one of our girls got foot rot...yes, foot rot! This is a direct consequence of grief forming liquid that pooled around the lower extremities and invaded the hoof wall! Obviously, the grief was a result of poor communication between goat guru and herd. We are living in fear that worms are about to invade!!
Please fix this immediately, Misah. Signed, the suffering masses

Karen C said...

I love this blog so much!

Anonymous said...

What blog?
So, how are you? Any news? We need to keep communication open among the lost souls who visit here regularly in search of...??
Yeah, that's the crux of it...what is it exactly that we are searching for? A cure for foot rot? We got it! The vet was more expensive, but we got it.
We must stop being so dependent on the Belle's to give our life meaning. At some point we all have to grow up and move on. Is that what is going on here??? Oh, No! I'm not ready!!! This should be the "letting them down easy period"...not The End. What IS GOING ON??? I hate sad endings...especially the ones where the goats are sort of misty looking and standing in fog or something and then the camera backs away and it starts to rain and then they just evaporate into little goat clouds and disappear...I hope this isn't THAT...it probably leads to foot rot and that is a terrible way to go...not that anyone cares.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Dear Anonymous,
You are breaking my heart. In place of our Goat Guru all I can offer is news from my Ozarks farm. I hope it helps. For the first time I stuck my arm inside a goat and pulled out babies. I have been initiated. First one was dead. I'm pretty sure I didn't kill it. 2nd and 3rd ones are fine. But brand new mama at 5 years of age did not know what was going on. She lay down any time babies tried to suck or I tried to milk her out. (Nubian, you guessed it.) I wrestled her, determined to get her to feed her babies. She did not get a card for Mother's Day. She loves her babies, but would not feed them. Down she would go, I would pull up her hind leg, pull out a teat, push baby down and it would suck.
Puuuuuuuuuuuuuush Mama over on the other side, repeat for baby 2. I was determined to win. Me, win. But, no, I did not. I gave up after 4 days of this and started bottle feeding. Mama competed with babies to drink from the bottle. (Did I say Nubian?) Lo and behold, day 7 comes and I go out to the barn and the babies do not want their bottles and their bellies are full and Mama is allowing them to nurse. I owe one blonde paint doe a Mother's Day card. Bless her heart. And yours. And the goat farmer's. Anonymous, you and I will have to take up the slack in this blog until the goat farmer gets tired of our sabotage and comes back online...

Anonymous said...

OGG, you have my complete admiration! I have NEVER put more than two or three fingers inside a goat...just for the purpose of encouraging things along. I then shout at the kid inside: "Get Out!" and luckily that has always worked. The shouting is just in case all that liquid and muscle between the kid and the outside is making the kid hard of hearing. In the case of the hoof rot I also followed the same protocol only in reverse...shouting "Get Out" first and then after several hours threatening the finger thing which didn't work because the doe kept turning around so that only the hoof with the owie was facing me...Anyway, thanks for caring which is more than what we are getting from certain goats who are busily eating blackberries and certain farmers who are sitting around all day scratching dog bellies...

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Anonymous, I have learned something very important from you. Yelling "GET OUT!" is a much easier and quicker, not to mention cleaner, method of getting babies to be born than sticking my arm inside a doe. Why didn't I think of that? You are second only to our beloved goatfarmer as to who I will be seeking advice from in the future.

Anonymous said...

Well, OGG, I just hope I wasn't too technical with all this medical stuff...and if it helped you, then I am humbled and grateful that my knowledge of goat birthing has been passed on to someone who will be able to take advantage of my years of study. "NATURAL," is always better, of course, but a little judicious shouting at exactly the right time and when carefully administered can be of great assistance.
Now, to our bigger problem of "shouting out" the blog owners...if we as a group were to all shout "Get Over Here and Write Something," do you think that might be worth a try? Or is that too scientific for this gathering?

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

No, no, no we must not shout at the goatfarmer. We must entice, coax, encourage instead. Like this: Dear Goatfarmer, in case you are having difficulty starting a new post, I will offer a few starter sentence prompts. Please choose from the following:
1. Winnie's baby unexpectedly...
2. Millie said she didn't know a thing about it but...
3. Did I tell you how Dolly...
4. It was the kind of goat scream that makes you drop what you are doing and run...
5. The horse trailer was already occupied by Blue Jaye so...

Anonymous said...

You're right!
Subtle it is...

6)Why are all the goats limping?
7)Does hoof rot always invade when the goat farmer is "away...?"
8)Is there a case here in a court of law regarding "intent" if the advice giver lets the advice receivers dangle after "implying promises?"

Here kitty, kitty, kitty...
I could really get into this, OGG!

Anonymous said...

So it is Friday and Memorial Day is just around the corner...hope your weekend is a nice one. We plan on visiting the grave sites of our military members who have passed from this world in "thanks and remembrance of their service to our country." Way too cold here for even thinking about a swimming hole adventure - brrrrrr! Planning a family BBQ with ribs and all the trimmings. We spruced up the girls so that visitors will note how sharp they are...hooves looking good...! They are supplying everything from milk to cheese to entertainment. Glad to have goats in our lives!!

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Well I'm going to a nephew's wedding in St. Louis and it's going to eat up THREE days of my life and there are no goats in St. Louis and I had to find someone to take care of mine while I'm gone which is always a worry PLUS I have to sing this incredibly horrible, loveydovey over the top 1924 song at the wedding about how all our loved ones have passed away but you're still by my side and I love you so much, sweet pal. It is such a horrendous unsingable song that I have clipped it and shaped it and reworded it--don't worry, left the sweet pal part in --so that it is not incrdibly horrible now, just horrible. PLUS I have to wear a dress and I look like a football player wearing a dress not a pretty sight, probably won't ask me to be in photos, plus it is supposed to rain so you just enjoy your cemetery visit, Anonymous, and your family barbecue and be glad you are not me this weekend.

goatfarmer said...

could you ask someone to take a video of that, OGG? Even an Iphone video would be great.

Anonymous said...

I will definitely do just that, OGG! LOL. Hey, at least you woke the farmer from her super stupor.

Is it just possible that a video of the football playing woman in a dress singing the 1924 "I Love You Truly" song about deceased relatives MIGHT light a creative fire under our esteemed leader??? Worth a try!! Looking forward to the video...will it be on the FB page or what...?