Monday, May 25, 2015

Barnyard CSI, Episode 032215: Professor Poppy's Proof, or, Solving for X

Sometimes it is not possible to ask questions and so you must intuit or deduce using your faculties if you have any. Intuit is where you look at the half-finished puzzle and say to yourself, aha, the missing piece is in the shape of an ear of corn, so I intuit that it is an ear of corn. It is a kind of intellectual gymnastics where you add things up and arrive at an answer, solving for X, where X is the thing that is conspicuously absent.

Obviously if you are a Nubian you cannot do this.

But anyway we have been trying to solve for X in the matter of the tiny replicant now known as Eo 2.0.

There was a conspicious lack of volunteers when Poppy suggested that someone should ask Eo who was the father of Eo 2.0. Very conspicuous.

And so this led to a lot of wide-ranging deduction and intuiting, not necessarily in that order.

"It looks exactly like Eo," said Dinky, under her breath.

"Exactly," agreed Ivy the Crafty Dunderhead.

"It looks nothing like Chaos."


"Nor Lionel."

"Nor Jackie."

"certainly not Fred."

"Not Fred. Or Thomas."

"Look! A cloud!" (disregard - Part-Nubian comment).

This discussion went round and round until finally Poppy said, "I wonder if it is possible for someone to be the father AND the mother of a kid."

This had a goggling effect on the conversation as everyone considered the ramifications.

"Because we know who the mother is." Poppy went on. "And if it were possible, then this case would prove it."

"What you are saying," blurted my daughter Izzy, in a Barnyard CSI tone of voice, " is can X EQUAL X?"

There was a stunned silence as we realized that we had reached the border of a brave new world.

"Which of course it can," pronounced Poppy. "Because X IS X."

"And never the twain shall meet," one of the Butterball twins breathed, in a tone of awestruck admiration.

"X IS X," we all agreed. The proof is in the pudding. The answer is in the question.

If Dam = X and Sire = X, Kid = X

Eo is the  mother AND the father of Eo 2.0, because Eo is Eo. They said it couldn't be done, but they didn't know Eo.



Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Evidently I am part Nubian as the logic here is beyond me so I will just shake my head in agreement with the conclusion agreed upon here and add one intellectual comment: Wow, Eo, Wow.

Anonymous said...

Well, IMO the "part Nubian" comment was the only comment that made any sense!
Clearly a "cloud like" buck is responsible for the outcome of EO's
mysterious child. How else could the ever alert and note taking farmer have
missed the event? OGG, please sing "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes." Additionally, we
all know that EO lives in a world cast about with fog...who knows what little
cat (or buck) feet inhabit the mysterious meadow and visit the vulnerable or wicked? The "X" factor may well be in play, but it has a partner...

Tyche's Minder said...

Ha. Clearly, the father is One. Because anything times one is itself, right? So If Eo is the father (as well as the mother), then Eo must be One, and now you've got a whole 'nother set of metaphysical problems. Don't tell the nubians.