Monday, July 09, 2012

The Festival of Hay and Profanity

It has been a hair-raising week. Moldy had a little son his name is Chance. She is devilishly attached to him and bursts out screaming if she can't see him for even an instant.

All the helpers disappeared just in time for the first round of haying and the farmer was picking up hay alone and the tailgate on the truck was broken and you would not believe the cussing that filled the air. It was a symphony of cussing even I was impressed and I have heard some cussing in my day.

Fritzi and Frodo went to their new home and for some reason everybody got upset about this even though they are just two little LaMancha wethers. Penrose couldn't help it she gave the farmer a lot of accusing looks since she had adopted Frodo and was feeding him when nobody else would and she kept staring at the farmer after they left as if to say "et tu, farmer?" and this did not improve the mood of the place one iota and then Betty got into the wrong pasture and all in all it was a good week to take a black Magic Marker and just cross all seven days off the calendar and don't look back and I think that is what we will do so please don't ever mention this week again and if you have to make a comment try to be sure that your comment is pleasant and cheery or maybe just a little poem you wrote about the sun coming up in the morning with rays of golden joy and nothing about sorrow or heartbreak or broken-down machinery or hay.

Thank you.

14 comments :

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

"Farm is a 4-letter word," she said breezily with a smile.

goatgirl said...

I'd have helped the cussing goat farmer. Then we would be singing the haying song instead.

Anonymous said...

And the whole concept of there being a new, dashing and brilliant Baby Bell whose abilities will have to be guarded against in so many ways ... exciting in a way, yet daunting ... one more thing to deal with. It will make for some good blog posts though.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Dear fellow blog readers,
Have you been wondering the same thing I have--if it is the right thing to do to call the New Baby Belle just that? all her life will she be the NEW Baby Belle? I don't want to bother the goatfarmer with this question as she might cuss me out and mark the day off the calendar, so I come to you instead. Should we, the readers, take matters into our own hands and give the New Baby Belle her own name or just leave it as is? I know, I know, you are thinking I must have too much time on my hands. Or maybe my mind just seizes on minutia and won't let it go. We gotta keep the Belle part of the name, of course, but how about Ringalingading Belle? or The Second Coming of Belle? or Two Belle or Not to Belle? Those are pretty long names. Maybe we could just call her Two. Or just let it go. Really, I do have life outside this blog, but I'm procastinating about the work I need to do today so am butting--get it? butting!--into someone else's business as it is just easier and more fun to do that.
Most sincerely, Ozarks Goat Girl

Anonymous said...

Dear Ozark Goat Girl - It may not matter since the farmer clearly thinks that the new Belle is someone else...but, how about Newbellie. It has that "starting over" feel to it AND it evokes the Ozarks which is the only place to live really (I do, too)...I have been racking my pea brain for a cheerful ode to haying to try to make the farmer feel better:
"Haying is alot of fun...
Especially in the freakin' sun"
That may not capture it exactly, but it's all I got.

Goat Girls Rule! said...

It was a mild, sunny day
When the crowds appeared to help with the hay.
And there was cool, gentle breeze
As the crew worked in threes
To load the lightweight bales of soft alfalfa
Onto the gleaming white F350 trucks
While everyone sang songs of love and nostalgia
And of joy and of luck.

And then home to the barn - so clean and airy
And evening chores - so gentle and carefree
And a long drink and (precooked) hearty meal
And then to bed to fondly dream of leaking roofs, foot rot, moldy hay, scours, milk fever, dystocia, escape artists, bloat, stinky bucks, stinky barns, stinky compost heaps, stinky weather, arthritis, bad mothers, sold kids, old age, infirmity, disease, laundry, the state of the union, the state of the kitchen floor, and all other things unreal.

goatfarmer said...

Thank you.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Hmmm, Newbellie...I don't know, makes me think of BigBellie...how about Second Belle?

And for the goatfarmer:
MILLIE'S SONG(to the tune of "Oh, How I Love Jesus)

Oh, how I love pea hay
Oh, how I love grass hay
Oh, how I love clover
Give me a good bit more.

The farmer bales hay in the summer
She sweats and curses in summer
We watch,chewing our cud and
Dreaming of wintertime when...

We will get to eat pea hay
And we get to eat grass hay
And we get to eat clover hay,
We love the farmer, so, so, so, so (big finish)
WE LOVE THE FARMER, SO!

Marigold said...

That Goat Girls Rule. She/They have it all. Looks, brains, poetic talent, master appeasing skills. And, I'm told, they far like old sailors.

Buffybelle said...

We see the farmer putting in hay sweating profusely
Grunting, heaving, cursing usefully
We know what we'll do when she gets it in
We'll pick at it, spread it around and poop on it, when it's in our pen.

Goat Girls Rule! said...

Correction: The Goat Girls of Cudzoo Farm would like to point out that we DO NOT "far like old sailors".

We FART like old sailors. Really Marigold -- where is your goat pride?! :)

Anonymous said...

Capa - belle, Persona -belle, Excita - belle, Returna -belle

PS - Do you have any way to email your posts when you put up a new one? I find myself checking your site over & over ... yes the posts are very entertaining, but if it showed up in my email when there's a new one I would not be repetitively clicking, clicking... looking for a new one.

Anonymous said...

Hey, your post made me think of something...how about calling her RedundaBelle? You know, she who repeats, acts the same as, a do over of another, etc. AND I second the idea that we be able to know when there is a new post. Good idea.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Dear anonymous fellow blog readers,
Thank you for entertaining me today! I applaud your idea of posts showing up on my computer when written so that I quit wearing out my computer and my fingers repeatedly checking to see if there is new HH info posted. I also feel somewhat relieved that I am not the only one with this compulsion. Perhaps we can form a support group for addicted HH Dairy blog readers.

Your ideas for names for the new Baby Belle--EXCELLENTO! I especially like Returna-belle and RedudaBelle or possibly in the future, RotundaBelle. I hope the farmer is taking a break long enough from the festival of hay and profanity to read these name suggestions. And I suppose if she is still festival-ing it up and has no time to post that we 3 can entertain ourselves with wonderments about what is going on at HH Dairy. For example, are the Abbyites still plotting against the Bettyites or has that all been settled? Is Precious, Precious Pebbles, so lauded last summer but all but forgotten this summer, getting ANY personal attention from the Goatfarmer at all? What does Wendell do with all his spare time now that his super nanny duties are over? Is Crumpet still squeakily discussing politics and the mysteries of farm life with the Goatfarmer? If so, have they solved anything??????