Lulu

Wow, Lulu is kind of cool. There are lots of unexpected little things there that you would never find in a "real" bookstore. The farmer just found a calendar for Herron Island. Herron Island is the teeny tiny island down at the end of Herron Road, about two miles (much less as the crow flies) from our farm, which is the Herron Hill Dairy. If you would like to see what our area looks like, you can go and click on the calendar and then click on "preview this calendar" to see some glimpses of the island. There are lots of deer there, they just roam free because it is an island and no one bothers them. Goodness, though, they shouldn't be eating that foxglove! They will all have heart attacks. The farmer was surprised to see that the little ferry got a paint job; it looks good in red.

Heat Wave!!!!!

We are having a heat wave! We had four inches of snow last night but the temperature shot up to 35 degrees today and everyone is trying to stay cool!

Note to Self

Next year, let someone else win the Goat of the Year contest.

When you are on the cover of the farm calendar (i.e. Goat of the Year) nobody looks at your picture. They just turn it over and hang it on a hook. Next year I will go for one of the nice months. September, maybe.

Goat of the Year 2008: Vote for Scouty!

How to Train a Boston Terrier

The horse trainers have a saying. The saying is, "accept any change for the better."

It's because in nature people don't sit on horses and tell them to turn left and right and back up and canter and walk and stand quietly by the gate and go get in that trailer, we're going to the vet. Horses don't naturally see the point of these types of activities, and why should they, it doesn't stop cougars from eating them.

It's like if a horse were training you and said, "come on, let's run as fast as we can all day long, and only stop to eat grass or if we see a pretty mare." You would say, why should I, I don't even like grass. What's in it for me besides a lot of blisters?

And if you just go and sit on a wild horse and tell it to turn left and right and canter when no one has ever done that, you'll probably wish you hadn't. You can try this yourself if you don't believe me.

So you wouldn't start teaching a horse to canter by getting on it and saying "canter." You would start by teaching the horse to walk and then trot and then canter. And you wouldn't start teaching a horse to walk by getting on it and saying "walk." You would start by showing a horse a picture of a saddle in a book from 30 feet away. And if the horse didn't get scared and run away, then that would be a good start. That would be a change for the better.

And then maybe the next time you could show the picture from 20 feet away. And then maybe at some point you could show the horse a real saddle. And then maybe at some point you could let the horse touch the saddle. And so on like that, accepting all the little changes for the better, and not expecting big changes all at once, until all of a sudden, what do you know, you got where you wanted to go without upsetting anyone.

It turns out you can go a long way, just by taking one step in the right direction at a time.

Anyway the whole point of this is I am trying to train Wendell the pest to stop running around me in circles barking like an idiot every time he sees me. At first what I did was run up to him and butt him in the ribs and yell, "stop running around me in circles and barking like an idiot, you idiot!"

Clipper also tried the same method, as you can see in this photo.

That did not work. Now I am using horse training methods. I will let you know what happens.

And Build it 24 Cubits High...

Well, we have put our ark contruction on temporary hiatus, because today, after floods and hurricanes and wind and hail and the creek rising and the trees falling and everything else from this winter that just started but already feels three winters long, we are having a new form of weather: thundersnow. Yes, that's right, we have a few inches on the ground already and it is still drifting down, and in the background you hear the distant rumbling of a summer storm.

Only it is January, and it is snowing.

Well, they say everybody complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it. We'll see about that. I don't plan to just take this lying down. Especially since the "Sopranos" are hogging all the good spots.

Which, by the way, little Wronny who seemed so sweet has now officially been welcomed into the Soprano clan, so now there are three of them instead of just two. As if we didn't have enough trouble.

Thundersnow Update: The Weather People promised quite specifically that it would stop snowing at daylight. But here it is almost eleven and the snow continues, in open defiance of the meteorologists. And the sun is also out, shining quite brightly. Hmm, how odd. I hate to say it, but it almost like they have no idea what they are talking about.

Bad Idea Part Two

I hope the farmer forgets that idea of having "someone" learn to pull a goat cart. Look at this teeny-tiny little goat on YouTube. This type of thing, in my opinion, looks a little too much like work. And anyway, it would be completely undignified for the Goat-of-the-Year.

Happy New Year!

The New Year is here and it's going to be a good one!

Here are my resolutions:

1. Have fun.

2. Eat more.

Since I am Goat-of-the-Year, I am on the cover of the farm calendar. Many of my friends and some of my enemies are on the inside. The calendar goes from February 2007 to January 2008. You can see it here.

We will start the year with some good advice for a rainy day from Paula Sandburg. Paula Sandburg was the wife of the famous poet Carl Sandburg and the sister of the famous photographer Edward Steichen. More importantly, she was perhaps the premiere goat breeder of her time, and remains a legend in the dairy goat world today.

Paula and Carl lived their later years on a beautiful farm called Connemara in Western North Carolina. If you are in the area, you can visit it - it is a National Park now, and has been preserved just as it was. Even a few descendants of the original champion goats remain.

Anyway, Paula wrote to a friend once with some good advice for what to do if you are feeling down or gloomy:

"When blue, there is nothing like working with the goats to make one forget. It is impossible to be blue in the kid yard - utterly impossible!"

We guarantee you that this is still true today. Just go and sit with some baby goats if you get to feeling down.

Goodbye, 2006

I am putting together my year-end list since it is New Year's Eve.

My favorite book of the year: "The Goat Lady," by Jane Bregoli. Jane Bregoli is an elementary school art teacher who lives in Dartmouth, Massuchusetts. The book is a true story about her neighbor, a lady everyone thought was eccentric until they bothered to get to know her. She raised goats and loved them very much. The book is full of beautiful paintings of the goat lady and her goats. You can see excerpts and paintings from the book here.

My favorite babies of the year: my two sons Huckleberry and Barbaro.

Best doeling of the year: little orphan Betsy, the Nubian-LaMancha cross. Betsy is smart like a LaMancha and sweet like a sweet Nubian.

Best horse of the year: Willen. Willen the Haflinger learned to drive this year. Right now he has a learner's permit. Next year maybe he can get a full license.

Best milker of the year: Runner-up goat-of-the-year Scouty is the surprise winner of best milker. She is still milking and everyone else (except Boo) is dried off.

Craziest goat of the year: April always wins this.

Best dog of the year and of all time: Spenny the border collie.

Best REALLY old border collie: KT Bailey.

Best guard dog and protector: Atticus (is that a Shetland Pony?) Pupicus.

Worst dog of the year: Wendell. Or as the farmer says: "WENDELL!! DID YOU DO THIS??!!!!"

Friends we miss and hope to see again: Marigold, little Martina, Marty, The General, Traveler, Harper Lee, Barnaby, Roosevelt, Herman, Ricky, Pilgrim, Whitman, Joey, Franky, Moony, Lolo, Margaret, Stevie Ray.

Friends we miss and won't see again: Stacy, Charzan, Orzbit.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, 2006.

Goat of the Year!

I would like to thank everyone who voted for me! Votes came in from everywhere! From Colorado (thank you, Denver!), from Pennsylvania, from California (thank you, Mountain View!), from Canada, from Washington (thank you, Bremerton!), from Virginia, from Georgia, from Texas, from North Carolina, from Connecticut, from New Jersey, from Maryland, from Oregon (thank you, Cave Junction!). And these are just some of the votes.

It appears some voters may have voted more than once, which is very thoughtful. Some may even have voted more than a hundred times. I hope you do not get carpal tunnel, whoever you are!

In the end the totals went like this: Baby "Barack" Belle (me): 1756 votes.

Scouty "Joe Biden" the Nubian, a surprise dark horse candidate who received many votes from the Olympic Peninsula: 756 votes.

Crazy "Hillary the C" April, who neither sought nor accepted the nomination, and who thumbed her nose at voters everywhere: 300 votes.

Betsy, the orphan doeling who did not even know there was an election going on: 271 votes.

Breezy, aka "The Toaster," aka Juniper "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" Breeze, 110 votes.

And finally, in last place, probably because her picture does not do her justice, Herron Hill's Weeping Camel, aka Cammy "what's so funny about peace love and understanding?" the mini-Mancha, with only 64 votes.

Happy Happy New Year, everyone, from your Goat-of-the-Year! Yes, I will be on the cover of the farm calendar, on sale everywhere* starting Monday, New Year's Day!!!




*well, not really everywhere, but somewhere

Last G-O-T-Y Post

Woops, there is a change in the G-O-T-Y voting. Get your goat-of-the-year votes in by tomorrow (Friday) afternoon. That's instead of Saturday night. The deadline for the farm calendar is sooner than we thought. So get your votes in for the goat you love the most. And remember, I am not a clone.

How to Predict the Weather

Well, back in the fall all the weather experts were predicting that we would have an "el nino" winter. The farmer's neighbor from Longbranch came over and explained it. If you don't live around here, you probably never heard of "el nino."

El Nino is a weather pattern in the Pacific Ocean which produces drier and milder winter conditions, due to the warming of ocean currents and something else I don't understand. There are a lot of scientists who know all about it and they explain on tv all the time how it works. I used to watch tv when I was a kid, but I don't any more.

Anyway all the weather people explained to us back in September that it was going to be an El Nino winter. It was extremely scientific. They had a lot of charts, with red and blue arrows, and little swirly things indicating ocean movements.

The farmer said "uh huh," and bought some more insulation for the pipes.

The neighbor from Longbranch explained what she had heard on the radio from the National Weather Service. It was going to be a nice dry mild winter, which would be a refreshing change from last year, when we had a whole month of torrential rain. It was unbelievably soggy.

The farmer said, "uh huh," and asked the hay man if we could get some extra hay.

And then the weather started: horrendous downpours (the rainiest month ever recorded here in one of the rainiest parts of the country), flooding, the worst windstorm ever, two snows before Christmas (we hardly ever get two snows in a year), two bitter cold snaps, one of which froze the pipes, even with their insulation on, and much more.

Now the weather people have new charts showing why what they said was really right even though it was wrong, and how in the future they will always be right again, and even if they are wrong, they still know everything, so it's the same as being right, and it's still scientific and impressive, even though it does not keep the trees from falling down in the wind, or the pipes from freezing.

Well, the neighbor from Longbranch was surprised. But the farmer wasn't.

"I don't go by the newspaper." the farmer explained. "I just go by Baby Belle." And back in September I was growing a woolly woolly coat. A coat to keep the rain and snow and wind out. A parka.

And that is why goats are better than Double Doppler radar.

Goat of the Year Part Three: Hanging Chad?

Well I am not surprised to report that there have been a few complaints that a certain contestant who shall remain nameless (Scouty) is cheating in the Goat-Of-The-Year Poll and should be disqualified for the offense of ballot box stuffing. I personally agree with the anonymous complainant who thinks that a certain goat who shall remain nameless (Scouty) should be disqualified. Unfortunately there are two factors which will prevent this.

1. Scouty is not capable of the premeditation required for willful cheating. It took her two years to realize that a baseball cap is not a living thing sitting on a person's head.

2. There is no cheating in this poll, which is being conducted according to the International "American Idol" electoral college rules. Vote early, vote often, vote in the dark, vote at work, vote at home, vote on vacation, vote in the airport, vote at Starbucks, vote at the mall, vote in the car, vote in the barn, vote in the milk parlor, etc.

Oh well. I'm sure I will win anyway when my law-abiding fans realize that it is okay to VOTE FOR ME AS MANY TIMES AS THEY WANT. Okay.

The G-O-T-Y voting will conclude at midnight PST on December 31. The Goat-of-the-Year will be announced on New Year's Day.

Will Work For Grass

Three large equines available for fence demolishing projects, board or wire fence, makes no difference. Very thorough. Photos of recent work attached. Just call us when your power goes out and we will be right over. Or you can contact our crew chief, Willen.

 

 

Tomorrow!

They say tomorrow never comes, but today it did. No trees down from last night's little storm, power still on, and Scouty is doing much better. The spider bite is drifting apart, like an iceberg breaking up, little purple floes moving further out on her udder, and the rash subsiding as well.

So there is no need to give her any more pity votes.

Some people have asked me why I want to be Goat-of-the-year. What is the big deal?

Goat-0f-the-Year goes on the cover of the farm calendar, which comes out in January!

G-O-T-Y campaign poster

I'm not sure if I mentioned it but there is a goat of the year contest going on. Don't forget to vote for your favorite candidate. If it were up to me, I would pick the goat with the most holiday spirit.

Winnie, With Bling Bling

This is Winnie. Winnie is Brandy's daughter. Brandy is the herd queen. Together, Winnie and Brandy are known as the Sopranos. They go around making people offers they can't refuse.

Like for example, "get away from the alfalfa or I'll break your legs."

Or, "get up from that cushy hay pile, I feel like lying on it."

Or, "go to the end of the line or I'll bite a chunk out of your ear."

They are very direct. No time wasted on "would you mind," or "could I trouble you," or anything like that. Notice how Winnie wears a cheesy gold chain in the photo. She has the same fashion sense as Rocky Balboa.

When Brandy is not around, sometimes there is an insurrection against Winnie, and everyone will do a gang-up and push Winnie out of the barn, or shove her down the hill. Not very often, but sometimes. When Brandy is preoccupied.

But then Brandy comes back and everyone commences scurrying and kowtowing again and acting like it was all a big accident that everyone formed a scrum and steamrollered Winnie. And Winnie, oblivious as ever, goes back to thinking she is God's Gift to Goats.

Now Winnie, like Prince Charles, thinks that when Brandy decides to pass along her crown, she will be first in line. She has probably already got a speech written for the occasion. But I can tell you, that is not going to happen. Because Winnie is no Brandy. The common goats will not support her. Instead, Winnie's daughter, if she ever has one, will probably be the herd queen. Like little Prince Wills.

In fact, if Winnie has a baby girl next spring, the farmer is thinking of calling her Princess William.

Or maybe something else.

When It Rains...

First the deluge of November, which flooded the barn, followed by the first deep freeze, which burst the pipes in the barn, followed by the first little windstorm, which put the power out for two days, followed by the big windstorm, which put the power out for 5+ days, while the temperatures went back below freezing again and threatened to reburst the pipes.

Now we are expecting another little windstorm, which likely will put the power back out for a while - there are big trees hanging by a thread everywhere.

And now Scouty is getting worse, so keep your fingers crossed. She is on Day 3 of the spider bite, which has turned her udder hot and swollen. The farmer thinks this will be the worst day, because the bite mark has turned purple and is starting to drift apart. so we will see what the vet says.

If you get bit by a spider and can't get to the doctor right away, put a paste of meat tenderizer on it, or a paste of activated charcoal if you don't have tenderizer. Take some milk thistle extract to help your liver push the poisons out. The farmer's friend who knows everything says Day 3 is always the worst day for a bad spider bite.

Anyway, now would be a good time to count our blessings.

1. We are on Herron Road, which turned out to be about the hardest hit road on the peninsula. We have our power back, and our next door neighbor has power back, but everybody west of us (there are two miles of Herron Road west of us) is still out because there is so much repair to do. Big trees just about everywhere. And that includes everyone on Herron Island - they get their power from the end of Herron Road, where the ferry dock is.

2. We have a generator now.

3. The farmer thinks Scouty was bitten by a black widow. That sounds bad, but it is much better than a brown recluse.

4. I am still winning in the Goat-of-the-Year poll.

Good News/Bad News/Good News/ Bad News

Good News! Power to the people! Power to the goats! The power is back! Stale bread for everybody!!!!

Bad News: they say there will be another windstorm tomorrow night. Just a little one. But even a little one, if you could see some of the trees around here which are far from vertical if you know what I mean, won't be good. Anyway, the farmer likes the Lutherans now, the Lutherans got right on the ball and had a soup kitchen for everybody while the power was off. Some people are still off. The Lutherans also had sheet cake, which takes the sting out of powerlessness, in the farmer's opinion. The good kind of sheet cake, made with Crisco.

Good News: Right now I am winning the Goat-of-the-Year contest. But it changes every day.

Bad News: Scouty got bit by a spider on her udder. There is a big blood-red bite mark and then the rest of her udder is covered with hives. She is getting a meat tenderizer paste on it (takes the sting out) and lots of extra attention, which she doesn't notice, much less appreciate. I hope she didn't do it to try to get some sympathy votes.

Day 5

Day 5...No power, but it is starting to come on around us. Only Betsy will drink from the pond. Everyone else is very suspicious of it.

I snuck into the barn and had my own water bucket. Those who are not as smart will have to get a little thirstier, I guess, before they acquire a taste for pond water.

The bad ponies were moved yesterday because they took advantage of there not being any electricity - i.e. no hot wire - to knock the fence down and stroll along the neighbor's driveway to browse down by the road with cars whizzing by. How uncouth, not to mention lazy - I always jump OVER the fence.

Do not forget to vote for Goat of the Year. That would be me, IMHO.

G-O-T-Y Poll

Ok, you can vote for Goat of the Year on my web page now.