Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Most Famous Goat in the World

Well what happened was it didn't work out that well with Crumpet playing the piano. Oh she could play the notes all right but she just didn't play with any feeling. The playing was so soulless that none of the dogs even sang along with it. "That is just a lot of pounding," the farmer finally said, and the piano lessons stopped.

Ok so then we moved on to drums since nuance did not seem to be her strong suit and she rode completely roughshod over notations in the music. "Con fuoco," "adagio," "incalzando," "allegro non troppo" - it was all the same tin-eared pounding.

So we tried the drums instead.

That was worse if anything. Soulless piano playing is one thing but soulless drumming is like a rumenotomy. Or I guess like a root canal if you are a person.  Crumpet on her little bongo was a disaster, it made Pinky banging her head against the wall - which she likes to do, for some reason, I think she is trying to shake an idea loose - sound like a band of angels playing harp music on a balmy midsummer night's eve.

"Oh please bang your head, Pinky," we would beg, when the bongo started up. Just to drown it out. And by the way Pinky may have to sit out a few games after this, until she is cleared to play again by the team doctor, but it was definitely worth it.

Then a few more desperate ideas popped up: maybe Crumpet could write romance novels. Really? She has never even been in heat. Or maybe she could run for political office. "Barn Mayor," suggested Winjay, and Wronny t-boned her into the wall. Ok, so most of the positions around here are already filled, but maybe something less important, Vice President of the United States or something. Really?

But then in the end Belle Starr came up with the best idea because let's face it this is the Internet Age and you don't really need any skills or accomplishments any more, you don't have to do anything, you can just be something. Just announce that you are something and then be it. And maybe if you get around to it you could develop an app about yourself, an app celebrating your celebrity that people could look at on their iPads.

So we decided that Crumpet would be the most famous goat in the world, and we will all just keep repeating that until it becomes a fact. Then someone with nothing else to do will enter it into wikipedia, and it will become reality.

So we are going to start making announcements about Crumpet and it would be good if you could do that too. And in future when we refer to her it will be as Crumpet, the most famous goat in the world. And if anyone asks you who is the most famous goat in the world just say, "oh, Crumpet, of course."

And if anyone asks what she is famous for just say "for being Crumpet." Or you could just shake your head in amazement and say, "you need to download the Crumpet app if you don't know that."







16 comments :

SueP said...

We need some papparazzi pictures - just for those who need proof of her Famousness. Then we can post them on all those relevant and misc Internet Etc's.

Not for Us, of course; We are all well aware of her Famousness For Being Crumpet. (FFBC)
And she does it So Much Better Than Anyone Else.(SMBTAE)

Maybe she will have her own blog someday... but she will need a ghoast writer.

Anonymous said...

I for one am definitely up for this! FFBC has a really nice ring. SMBTAE is actually beyond my ability to remember...sorry. BUT, definitely in for FFBC. Of course the current Vice President of the United States cannot remember anything! So, maybe she should run for office. Then she could be famous for not remembering anything, too!

Marigold said...

It looks as though Crumpet has so many letters after her name (FFBC, SMBTAE) that she could likely hang out a shingle as well. I am sure people would come from all around the country just so they could say things like, "I was a client of Crumpet FFBC SMBTAE.", and then they would walk away, head held high, looking everyone directly in the eye as they went. There is no such prestige that goes along with being Vice President, so I wouldn't suggest that at all.

Selkie and Sarabi said...

FFBC . . .Crumpet, World's Most Famous Goat . . . got it. We're right on it. Anything to avoid delivering our kids. Anything.

PS: Thank you extremely much for distracting The Owner for 30 seconds with this blog post. The obsessive "checking" is so very obnoxious.

Mimi Foxmorton said...

This is WONDERFUL!
I do hope you will pop over to Facebook and joing us at SIsterhood of the Goat if you haven't already and tell EVERY one about Crumpet!

Have a wonderful day!

Mimi
The Goat Borrower

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Fully invested and ready to spread the word from here in the Missouri Ozarks. Am wondering if Crumpet needs more of a stage name to be famous, though, such as Lady BaaBaa. Will watch the paparazzi reports as they are the ones who often come up with the nicknames. Go Crumpet!

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Just wondering if any of you know where I can buy a Crumpet--The Most Famous Goat in the World t-shirt? Or maybe a hoof-imprinted goat blanket? I'll pay big money...

Julie said...

Even i have heard of Crumpet which is clear proof of her famousness. She must have gone viral.

Goat Girls Rule! said...

But Millie -- we thought YOU were the most famous goat in the world?

goatfarmer said...

oh dear.

Karen C said...

Sorry, no time to comment, must run to the store to buy up all the Crumpet merch before it is gone!

Queen Quattra said...

I thought I held the honor of "The Most Famous Goat in the World"!! Well, I don't get out much anymore and I guess being Queen is good enough...for now...so ok, I will pass the peanuts...No, not the peanuts...maybe a wand or something on to Crumpet! You go Crumpet...do us proud!!
Baa Baa?...isn't that what sheep say??

by Chickory Blossom said...

You beat me to it QQ...BaaBaa is for sheep...goaties say MaaMaa.

Let us know when you get the T-shirts printed up, we will take a couple.

On second thought, does the position of MFGitW come with a cape and a nice tiara? If so, Crumpet may wind up with a little competition from Texas.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Yes, I would have to say I mixed up my sheep and goat languages again. I never have mastered the sheep language and mostly my goats are shrieking "Bwahh! Bwahh! Bwaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" translation being Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! or going MMMMMMM-MMMMMMM-MMMMMM when they are neck deep down in some good hay. It would be so nice if they would ask me for some grain with a polite Maa. I digress though--back to the real question, where is the Crumpet merchandise?

Anonymous said...

Amusing, but after 20 days of radio silence, what is really going on over there with you all?

Anonymous said...

Checked on Wikipedia for "Crumpet the most famous goat in the world," and it returned, "Did you mean: *Cricket* the most famous *goal* in the world?" No. No I didn't. So keep putting it out there. Goal not quite achieved yet.