Monday, July 12, 2010

Pull Knob to Release

Well the farmer had to go to work on Saturday so the farmer asked Lori to keep an eye on me "Because she is coming near her time."

Who isn't coming near their time? How can you get anywhere without coming near your time? In fact, shouldn't you be right on your time?

Anyway Lori was keeping an eye on me and she must have taken her thinking cap off and left it somewhere because after several hours she called the farmer to report that Xie Xie looked a little under the weather, and that one of her babies was too small, in Lori's opinion. "She looks like a newborn," Lori said accusingly.

What am I supposed to do about that? thought the farmer. The farmer was on the freeway and there is a new cellphone law regarding talking on the phone so the farmer just said, ok thank you.

I don't know where the farmer's thinking cap was either because Xie Xie doesn't have any babies this year, she is milking through, so how could one of them be too small and look like a newborn?

It's a puzzle, make no mistake.

Anyway after several hours the farmer came home and was able to uncover the fact that Xie Xie's mysterious daughter was not too small. In fact she was just the right size, because she was a newborn. Only nobody seemed to want to claim her, certainly not Xie Xie who has taken a vow of chastity since popping out Alica and Walker last year.

Big Orange was interested in the baby, but it is a known fact that Big Orange already had her babies. Brandy is an old bag. Breezy is a crippled old bag. Winnie is all that and a bag of chips. Penrose would have taken it, she is a professional maiden aunt. But you could see it wasn't hers.

And little Jimmy was still holding her water.

Finally Cherry came forward and claimed the baby, offering no explanation or apology.

We knew Jimmy was going to have a wether-child. We did not know Cherry had climbed the same tree.

Anyway I was thinking how odd that whole thing was today when all of a sudden out of the blue I started screaming bloody murder. I screamed for two solid hours. I thought I had appendicitis. "Help me!" I screamed, and the farmer came and gave me a cup of grain.

"That is not the kind of help I need!" I screamed. But I ate it to be polite.

Suddenly a gigantic wet black and white baby appeared behind me, possibly having dropped from some unseen vending machine in the barn ceiling. Or down a baby chute.

For some reason I felt a lot better. I noticed how handsome the black and white baby was. It reminded me of my little friend at the drive-through buck window. I couldn't really think any more about it because suddenly I started screaming again.

"HELP ME!" I bawled. Another little baby appeared behind me. The first one was still crawling around ineptly. The farmer brought me a bucket of warm water, and some more grain.

How odd, I thought.

When did the farmer buy that vending machine. Why have I never noticed it before.

14 comments :

goatgirl said...

Congratulations Millie. I can't wait to see them.

Amy Lagerquist said...

LOL, congratulations! So, does that make three babies for you, or did Cherry really have one, too?

Tracy said...

Please post a photo of these mysterious vending machine babies! And you should be in the photo too, since you are the one who discovered them!

Marigold said...

Now here's the thing. If we were going to have a vending machine on our farm, I would MUCH prefer Peanuts to baby goats. they taste much better and are not nearly so annoying.

Yang said...

Personally, I would prefer a vending machine with the choices of peanuts, raisins, and apple bite treats. Preferably one that does not require coins.
But right now I would settle for pictures of you and your stunning finds!

Tayet Silverspoon said...

I, Lilyian (the first), hereby congratulate you on your miraculous find... Aw, to heck with formality's, congrats!!!

Love to you and the babies,
Tayet and Lilyian

Millie said...

Oh how exciting! I can't wait to see them.

Maria said...

You are so darn funny. I laugh out loud every time I read about your goat's observations on things.

SueP said...

Ditto what Maria said - and,
We Want Pictures!

Grace said...

At least your farmer was intelligent enough to install this miraculous machine INSIDE the barn. Ours is somehow in the pasture and the mini horse (a gelding) and the wether thought the babies were theirs!

AshleyInNYC said...

OMG Belle babies!!! Can't wait to see the little cuties!

Marnax said...

Congrats on having babies!
also, Wow, i want that vending machine...
ask the farmer for the name of the company that makes them!
P.S. I want pictures of the babies!

Anonymous said...

really missing your posts - they make my day!! hope all is well and that we will start to see more again....

Child Of God said...

WHAHOOOOOO!! Finally some little Belle babies! :)
Congratulations, You are a new mother! :)