The blog has gotten very boring lately with a lot of drivel about goat shows. There has hardly been anything about Crumpet, who is still the most famous goat in the world even if nobody has ever heard of her. Crumpet has moved into the down-below goat shack, the one with the leaky roof, oh wait they all have leaky roofs, anyway the one where everyone who didn't go to the Fair lives. This includes Moldy, Blue, Jammies, Jinxy, Dinky Dollarbird, Blue Jaye, that one that nobody can remember her name if she even has one, and the other one that cries for no reason, just as a hobby.
The coyotes ate all the pears and so they have stopped creeping around our pasture at night which has stopped the farmer from hollering and shining the big spotlight and shooting off the .22 that no one can get aimed - "has this gun been sighted in?" everyone asks after they shoot it and miss by a mile, how surprising, usually they are like Daniel Boone and could shoot the hat off an acorn, must be something wrong with the rifle. Anyway it is a lot easier to sleep without gunfire or coyotes.
It is turning into fall very quickly and last week for a while it seemed like it might be January with the wind blowing a gale and great flapping sheets of rain. The farmer took Crumpet up to the barn for a ceremonial measuring and Crumpet had not grown at all. If you have any suggestions for making Crumpet grow, send them in. Licorice did not work. If she stays this shrunken she is going to go to puppy agility with the Terror, since carrying the candy pack is not a full-time job.
Eo has a new plan to take over the world but she won't tell anyone what it is. Be on the lookout though. She is not one to tangle with. Moony is now the size of a Shetland Pony and still drinking milk. The new buckling came and he is staying in the barn for a few days to meet his roommates and he smells like a bag of rotten fish that has been marinated in a barrel of cat pee and then left out in the hot sun for a few days. For this reason I went back down to the down-below pasture and my mother went with me. And Belle Starr too.
If we could get on Yelp we would do a barn review: one star, barn is nice but service is very slow and surly, and right now it smells like sardine-flavored cat pee. Proprietor does not seem to care. AVOID.
9 comments :
Well, good...everything seems to be back to normal what with the cat urine and all, Crumpet wanting to be famous for not growing and the coyotes eating pears(?). I almost stopped reading the blog what with all the success and press and all...this is much better.
Well, I just have to say before we get off the topic of goat shows that for the first time I took some goats to the fairgrounds, not for a show, but as part of a huge display of farm animals and equipment and supplies. It was a 3-day event and I took 15 little bucklings that I hope to find homes for rather than selling at the auction barn where they will only go to the big barn in the sky if you know what I mean. Goatfarmer, you have detailed problems you have had with your goat girls at the fair, but you have not even touched on the problems the boys cause, so please allow me. Never in my life have I seen so many goat penis' on display with taste testing going on and then oooh, this is yucky faces stuck up in the air. Never in their lives had the farmfest attendees seen such a large display of this, either. Mostly there was a lot of pointing and embarrassed giggling and quick walk-aways from our pens. I'm taking girls next time.
I guess with the cat urine discussion it was only a matter of time before the goat penis' subject was introduced. May I suggest that Ozarks Goat Girl take only girls in heat next time so that she can further educate the general fair going public about the intimate habits of the crazed female caprine...the incessant bellowing, peeing and mounting of other crazed females should really get her some sales.
I'm laughing too hard about the previous two comments to add anything coherent to this discussion!
Anonymous, sounds like more fun than I can handle, but thanks for thinking of me.
Oh good lord...we're so glad we don't have any boys living with us! They are so undignified and we smell sooo much better!
Here's to goat girl power...and we're smarter too!
Queen Quattra
Are there no Peanuts at this establishment? Peanuts would warrant at least 2 stars just on principle.
Gosh, how hilarious! I wish there are photos to accompany this journal... :D
Yeah, and scratch-n-smell spots, too.
Post a Comment