Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Swim-Off

Yesterday there was a big wind storm with sticks and branches flying everywhere and the metal roof on the cabana rattling and flapping. It didn't come off and no one was killed. Then last night it snowed a half an inch of snow. Very wet snow. It will be a winter wonderland for the next 45 minutes or so until the rain comes back and washes it away.

Crumpet is on special treatment with multiple trips to the grain bin every day and a new jacket. Oh wait that is not special treatment for Crumpet. That is ordinary treatment. I remember when I was crumpeted, years ago. Now I would be lucky to get a single peanut. I haven't had a swedish fish in centuries.

Schwinnie keeps growing her feet out really long. The farmer has started keeping a chart, it is very aggravating, her feet grow twice as fast as anybody else's.

"Why are you doing that Schwinnie?" the farmer asked point blank. Schwinnie did not say anything, just jumped up on the stand and starting wolfing down oats while her feet got trimmed AGAIN.

Gee I wonder why she is doing that, I am going to start trying to grow my feet out faster.

Winnie has not kidded in three years and the farmer is determined to get her bred so when she came in heat she went in with Fred for two hours, then she came up to the barn and spent the rest of the afternoon with Jackie, then later that night Chaos came up to have a go.

Winnie was tickled pink, she spent the night in the stall with Jackie and Chaos.

Next morning the jousting was over and Winnie and Jackie had gotten married and were enjoying a blissful honeymoon. All their troubles were out of sight. Chaos was banished to the opposite corner of the stall, where tomorrow would be another day.

"May the best swimmers win!" said the farmer.

13 comments :

Marigold said...

Oy. But how will the Farmer actually know who won? I'm sure Winnie isn't going to tell because no one would, in polite company anyway. Was Winnie one of the Kardashians? I forget. Wait. No. She is a Soprano isn't she? Perhaps she threatened one of them into submission? Oh, how will we ever know?

goatfarmer said...

This is a good question Marigold. If the baby is a LaMancha we will know Fred won. If the baby is not a LaMancha and it has blue eyes or wattles, we will know it is Jackie's. If the baby is not a LaMancha and it has brown eyes, we will not know. But it will be a nice goat anyway. If there is no baby, we will still have Winnie.

Willow Fen Farm Goats said...

Here at Willow Fen Farm, Gretal is trying to grow her hooves very quickly so that she can have built-in skis when the snow finally starts to pile up. Perhaps she and Schwinnie have some Alpine genetics somewhere in their long ago family lines that makes them long to schush downhill.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

What I like is that Millie can come up with new words such as the verb crumpeted and all of us who are readers of this blog, but only this select group, nod our heads with full understanding and acceptance. To prove it I am going to go out right now and crumpet my goats. When my husband gets home I might crumpet him, too. Thanks for expanding my vocabulary, Millie.

Selkie and Sarabi said...

What a very good idea to grow hooves out for trips to the stand. We don't even care about extra food - we're on very decent pregnancy rations - but we're bored, oh soooo bored. Our play yard, uninspiring at best, is knee deep in mud. We stand inside the barn, watching the rain, which you must admit is about as boring as it gets. So Schwinnie has a very good idea, and we're on it! Thanks!

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Dear farmer and fellow HH blog readers (read this Dear Abby), I come to you with a question for serious goat lovers like yourselves. I hope someone will read this comment and respond. It's about us human goat girls smelling goatie. My husband, who prefers to watch my goats at a distance rather than up close and personal like me, is much more aware of goat smell than am I. Truth to tell, other than bucks, I LIKE the smell of goats. Not 1000 head under roof on a rainy night at the sale barn, but the smell of my does and my whether is pleasant and I guess now I am immune to smelling their smell on me. But my husband is not. Last night while I began to prepare supper he tapped me on the back and said emphatically "You SMELL! Go change your clothes." Obligingly, I did. Then another tap on my back. "It's not your clothes, it's YOU! Go take a shower!" And all the while I am totally unaware I carried any smell at all. Now I'm wondering how often I go to work smelling like a goat. My husband says "If you think you might smell, you do." So what's the answer to this smelly question? I'm not going to stop being a goat girl, that's for certain. Coverup perfume? I doubt anything could mingle with the smell of goats and come out pleasant. Quit my day job and just be on the farm and not care about if I smell? Yea! That would be great, just not possible. Gotta go earn some money to support my goat habit and since I don't sell any of my goats it obviously has to be something off the farm. Any ideas on solving this problem are welcome. Or just anyone who can tell me you're in the same boat might help me feel better. Much thanks in advance!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I both smell like goats. I think that is the answer: your man needs to smell like the rest of us so he won't be offended. If he won't mess with the goats, then you will have to place a buck rag in his closet until he smells,too. You might want to start with a young buck rag and work up to the big boys. That way he may not notice until it is too late. Certainly smelling like a goat is an acquired taste...he just needs to acquire the taste! Once he smells like all the other old goats, he will be happy and well adjusted..just like us. Happy New Year and good luck!

Missy the Goat said...

Wow, snow, ski's, swimming, partying all night, it sounds like a resort!

goatfarmer said...

Or maybe these.

Still smelly Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Thanks, friends, for your suggestions to my smelly problem. I like the idea of starting with a young buck rag in my husband's closet and gradually increasing the scent, but I fear he will instantly recognize the sent of the young buck rag even if ever so lightly scented and remove it immediately accompanied with some less than desireable language. Goatfarmer's suggestion of the pleasantly named Harmony Smiley's Nose Plugs is great, especially when I read that the plugs stay on in the largest of nasal holes. Though fully adjustable and touted to be so extraordinarily comfortable that I think I might want a pair for myself even though I don't need them, I fear dear hubby will not find them attractive enough to own and wear. Good tries, though, these are very good tries.

Missy the Goat said...

I believe in the old saying, 'the best way to a mans heart is through his stomach', so I suggest wearing this http://www.ebay.com/itm/Macaroni-And-Cheese-Air-Freshener-New-/230885510223?pt=Home_Fragrances&hash=item35c1d94c4f

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Fellow goat girls, I am so glad to have all these wonderful smell, or should I say un-smell, suggestions. I think I should give each of them a try and report back as to what works for me. From a personal standpoint, Missy's macaroni and cheese air freshener idea is very appealing.

kambing gibas said...

o nice