Monday, October 08, 2012

Table For One

Here is what the herd does every morning, my half of the herd anyway.

It sits around waiting for the farmer to come out.

"Where is the food where is the food where is THE FOOD!" Moldy starts wailing as soon as the sun comes up.

Then the farmer finally comes out and the herd mills and grumbles and shoves against the door so the farmer sometimes practically can't even get the door open to let the herd out.

"I need food where is the food I'M STARVING!" wails Moldy.

"That's my FOOT you're standing on MY FOOT!" screams Winjay.

Wronny t-bones Winjay.

"WHERE IS THE FOOD!" screams Moldy.

"MAMA!" screams Chancy.

"MAMA!" screams Moony.

This wakes Pinky up. "What?" mumbles Pinky. "Is it my birthday again?"

The farmer opens the door and the herd pours out into the front pasture like water pouring out of a giant pitcher, a pitcher full of hungry goats, and then the herd runs back and forth among the three different feed stations, each one seeming to have better food than the others until they see it up close and realize that it is just the same, in fact the previous feed station actually had better food, maybe not better tasting but the presentation was better, there was just something about it, so let's go back there away from Winjay instead of staying here, and there is a great swirling of giant terrestrial four-legged locusts as everyone decides where to eat.

Well that is a little ridiculous so I don't do it.

"Please," I say," after you," and I stand aside as the whole herd goes gurgling out into the pasture and then I walk up to the farmer directly and I indicate with my pleasing demeanor that I wouldn't be against a small bowl of cereal if it isn't too much trouble. Just here in the barn aisle is fine, and I don't mind eating out of the bucket, I don't want to make any trouble. Isn't it a lovely day? My goodness, I love the fall colors.

And then when I have finished eating all I want I indicate to the farmer that I don't mind joining the ordinary goats who are still - some of them anyway - running around screaming in the front pasture.

I'm not saying my way is better. But that's just how I do it.


Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Hannah Belle, I am assuming it is still Hannah Belle blogging? because I don't think Millie would be quite so nice about dealing with breakfast, I like your way. I like your way very much and I bet you get more grain than you would if you joined the morning rush and certainly your digestion of it is better and sometimes I wonder if the farmer might put a handful of something a little special in your grain. I certainly would for one very polite little goat like you.

Brenda said...

That's great!

Queen Quattra said...

ha ha ha..that's just the way i do it too....all those other silly, goats...if they only knew how to get the best food!! :)

Goat Girls Rule! said...

Belle Starr - congratulations on another post that clearly shows your boundless intelligence.

Selkie and Sarabi said...

Wow. We'll have to think about this. We've always spent our first morning rush trying to get at the duck food. Not that it's ever worked, mind you, but it's safe to assume that the duck food is WAY more delicious than ours. Hmmm, thanks for another Deep Thoughts post there!

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

I meant to address Belle Starr, not Hannah Belle. Sorry for the mixup on the Belles. At least know that Hannah Belle is not forgotten, that's for sure.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Oh, yes, Belle Starr, the fall colors are just gorgeous. And aren't these cooler temperatures delightful? And might you post another entry one of these days, just at your leisure, of course, if it's not too much bother.

Marigold said...

I'm so confused. Of course I am naturally confused, but that is indeed beside the point. I know I am behind in all matters these days, but just WHO is talking here? Is this, in fact, Belle Starr, or has Millie Belles deigned to speak again? Or have the two brains somehow merged into one being? These things do happen. I am so confused. Did I say that already? Oy.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Marigold, Millie grew tired of writing the blog. So first she picked Winjay to be the writer, but Winjay t-boned another goat in celebration and was immediately demoted to non-writer status and then Millie picked Belle Starr to take her place. Belle Starr has written the last couple posts. Don't you think it might be nice if Precious Pebbles was given a chance at writing?

Corina Sahlin said...

Why does this sound exactly like the scene I face every morning?