Monday, September 10, 2012

The Overfed vs. The Underappreciated

The middling goats will be off to the Fair tomorrow so the farmer has been busy trying to find all the things that should have been collected tidily in one place about a month ago and the fixing of the haircuts began and then sputtered out because the trailer lights stopped working just when needed most  and the latch on the escape door popped and now it is starting to look like everyone is just going to have to cram into the truck instead which is one of many reasons why I never go to the Fair but Pebbles the Jumbo Jet has been looking wistful and recalling her five minutes of Fair Fame and wondering why she hasn't been chosen this year, it doesn't seem - no pun intended - fair.

After all, she is the Bitter Pill. She thinks people will be coming back to the fair just to see her, and a lot of them will want their money back when they realize she isn't there. Which goes to show how strained her relationship with reality has become.

Maddy the Sheriff of Crazytown just came out and told it like it is - "look, Pebbles, it isn't a whale show. When they have a whale show, you will be the first one picked. "

Anyway there was so much going on I thought it would be a good idea to make a hole in the fence and run amuck with some of my underlings so we did that and started a brawl with the milkers and there was a lot of rhetorical questions hurled about by the farmer when the hole was discovered, including, "Do you think this is funny? Do you think I have nothing better to do than fix this fence? Would you look a good walloping?"

And so on while we loaded up on free apples and ate the milkers' hay and enjoyed a refreshing round of goat rugby with The Overfed, making up for what we lacked in blubber with enthusiasm and esprit de corps.

Viva la Revolucion, Baby!


Ozarks Goat Girl said...

I fail to see how Pebbles' relationship with reality is strained. I believe everything she thinks is true. After all, it is you, Millie, not one known for handing out grand compliments, who said she was IMPERIOUSLY ELEGANT last year at the fair. I think people WILL be mad that she is not there this year. They WILL want their money back. Maddy is mean and jealous and has no right to categorize Precious Precious Pebbles in a non-caprine category. I am about to come up there and take on the role of sheriff for a day to reset everyone's mind regarding Pebbles.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

One more thought--Millie, did you answer the goatfarmer's rhetorical questions? I am guessing you did and that your answers were Yes, Yes, and No. I can't wait to hear all about the adventure of going to the fair and do hope the farmer can get all the goats TO the fair. If she started out tonight I guess she could just walk the whole line of 7 goats to the fair and still get there on time. Plus, that would make the newspapers and probably give her an edge on the Herron Hill entries despite their unkempt haircuts.

Anonymous said...

This Fair-thing is beginning to sound alot like drying off. Just today I was milking the gallon-a- day first freshener who is completely dried off since last week when the rest of the gang burst in through the door with the broken lock and knocked me to the floor trying to mount the stand to gobble grain. I felt really badly about this. Now I read this post and know for sure that we will never do the Fair...I cannot take another drying off like this one and clearly the Fair is exactly the same...only with more travel.

Karen C said...

Goat shenanigans!

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Today is Wednesday. I am wondering mightily what is going on at the Puyallup (and I get points for spelling that right) Fair. Did the farmer and her hostages actually get there? Does everyone look thinner from being squished into the truck? Did the haircuts get fixed? Are the hostages winning any ribbons? Is Rosie being unfriendly to the fair visitors? What oh what is going on? I cannot wait to hear a report!

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Puyallup Headliner lead story for Thursday, Sept. 13: PUYALLUP FAIR ATTENDANCE DRAMATICALLY DROPS--Blame placed squarely on the Herron Hill Dairy farmer who chose not to bring the imperiously elegant Pebbles, last year's Jr. Grand Champion goat.