Crumpet is small and cute but that is not enough. If you are reading this and you are small and cute and you think that is enough, you are wrong.
If you are thinking, "well, I am small and cute and I am also from Oregon," please believe me when I tell you that that is not enough either and so is Crumpet by the way.
Crumpet needs to develop a skill since she is too small to be a real dairy goat. She can't be bred so she can't be milked so she is going to need some vocational training because everyone needs the satisfaction of making their way in the world unless they don't make it but that happens sometimes and it's no excuse for idling your life away.
Anyway it has been decided that Crumpet will learn to play the piano.
Why the piano? You are probably asking. Well, she is too short for the cello.
Ok, that makes sense. But what song will she learn to play?
Probably something by Adele.
Why? you are probably asking. Why not Pachalbel's Canon, so she could play at weddings? Or 'We've Only Just Begun' by the Carpenters?
Well if she learns an Adele song everyone will already be crying as she plays. But still they will be pleased, and they can tell their friends, "I just saw a little goat playing 'Someone Like You' on the piano. You don't see that every day."
We don't expect her to end up at Carnegie Hall or anything. You have to be realistic.
14 comments :
This is definitely an excellent plan. You are right in that everyone must have a purpose. But do consider that fact that being soooo small and cute may indeed have some merit on its own as far as setting a record for the smallest full-grown goat. I just looked up the Guinness Book of World Records and see no record listed for the smallest goat. There are only 3 goat records:
1. The oldest goat--McGinty, a male pygmy goat who lived to be 22 years and 5 months on Hayling Island, Hampshire, UK
2. The largest litter of goats--Lucy of Pennsylvania in 2006 had 6 pygmy goats, 5 of them lived
3. The largest goat cheese weighing 2070 pounds made in Greece in 2010
Millie, I am being realistic here, check into getting Crumpet listed as the smallest ever full grown goat, whenever it is that she would be determined to be full grown.
Actually I would vote for the Tuba. If she didn't have enough 'umpff' to blow into it, she could always do a rousing tap dance in that little curve. Plus who wouldn't find it endearing to see a little goat playing a Tuba? If not, I suppose she could always find an organ grinder somewhere. I'm just sayin'... Peanut, by the way, says to tell you HE is little and quite cute. That sort of thing carries a lot of weight all by itself.
Good luck with the Adele plan! Not to say it can't happen, but at least around here, all we can think of is water-related tunes. Selkie has been humming Smetana's "The Moldau" all day, while I (Sarabi here) am in more of an easy-listenin' mood and prefer "Raindrops Keep Falling on Your Head" which I hear in my mind somewhere between the voice of Burt Bacharach and Blue SummerStorm, that cute buck from this summer . . . sigh . . .
I have been reading your blog for years and probably have only commented a few times. I just want to say that I absolutely LOVE your blog. When I see that you have posted something new, it's like Christmas morning has arrived. You really know how to tell a story. I just thought I should tell you how appreciated your blog and your skill with words are to me, a girl on a tiny farm in Canada. I really wish my goats were as eloquent as you are, all I get is the demanding gutteral MAAAA! of a handful of finicky nubians.
P.S. the video from the last post was awesome! Well done!
Well hmm. The Guinness Book is woefully out of step. We know several does personally who have had six kids. And they all lived too. Some of them all did anyway. Also we heard of an Alpine doe who was 36. So 22 doesn't impress us. Hmm. Three shabby records, that really leaves the door wide open, maybe Crumpet could get in there. If she learns to play the piano she definitely could.
Since Filbert has decided to retire and I have a very small pack, Crumpet could become the farm tour chocolate goat. Fun size goat carrying fun size chocolate.
Do you think Crumpet is a dwarf?
Hmmm.....
It is 5am....and I don't think that anyone will be able to say anything to me for the whole rest of the day that will make me smile as much as you just did........
If the piano thing doesn't work out, perhaps Crumpet should concider the harmonica. Nothin' is better for playin' the Blues, and everyone loves the Blues. Or gets the blues. I can't remember which.
Anyway, a harmonica would be far more convenient in the barn coz Crumpet could keep it close at hand to serenade the entire herd anytime she wants without having to worry about having someone roll a piano through the mud into the barn, and then have to find an acoustically appropriate spot for it. And let's not even think about what all that humidity would do to a sound board and strings.
As an added bonus, harmonica lullabies might drive the nubians just a little bit crazier. Or more crazy. Whichever.
Additionally, a little Mendelssohn on the harmonica would be a lovely and very memorable touch to any wedding.
Yes. I definitely vote for the harmonica.
Has anyone asked Crumpet if she wishes to learn to play the piano? It is probably the easiest instrument for someone with 4 feet to play (think of the duets!), but perhaps she'd prefer to become a drummer? Or even a sitar player? She might have a talent and liking for the hammered dulcimer! Just beware of expecting a goat (no matter how small) to do something when her heart is not in it. Just saying...
Very good point, Ginger Mare. Oh, but to think of Crumpet playing duets on the piano by herself, such joy!
Has anyone considered that Crumpet might not have the "reach" to play a "duet?"
Oh, yeah, Anonymous. The capacity for reach is really something to condsider here. A toy piano is more her size. Or back to the harmonica idea. Or how about a ukelele?
OK, fine, OGG...far be it from me to try and inject some common sense into what has clearly become another one of these crazy ideas that you all just foam over. This is exactly the reason that someone with dignity and a responsible nature is needed to moderate this blog.........never mind.
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