Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Beanie Baby

So that makes four kids, three bucklings and one doeling. Two of the bucklings are extraordinarily handsome, and the doeling is very beautiful, a cou clair with big glassy frog eyes. Her name is going to be Nelly, short for Cochranella, which is a kind of glass frog with big glassy frog eyes, like an amphibian china doll. If you are guessing that her mother is Froggy you are on the right track.

There are two black and white boys, both belong to Wembley, and they are currently being subjected to the farmer's naming scheme for simpletons - "just for now." One is being called Blacky, and the other, the one with the blue eyes, is being called Bluey. Aside from their names they are excellent specimens. And so is the girl, even if she is a little on the jittery side.

And then we come to Butterbean. That is the last buckling. His name is Butterbean. He got his name right away. The farmer looked at him and said, "hello, Butterbean."

He also belongs to Froggy. But he looks nothing like her. And he looks nothing like his sister, either.

He is a pale drab orangey white, suspiciously like June Bug, his half-sister. He also has her bat ears. He runs like a burlap sack full of old sneakers being thrown down the basement stairs.

"He has a good personality, though," the farmer says, watching him canter about with an expression that says, 'oh, dear.'

He is very chubby and likes to cuddle, and after calling him Butterbean for a while the farmer started calling him Beanie, and it didn't take long after that that we would hear, "Beanie Baby!" and then see him galumphing toward the farmer in all his orange splendor.

Oh dear. And that isn't the worst of it. Worst is yet to be told.

4 comments :

Midas P Goat esq said...

The teasing of the stories is killing. I'll be here, drooling mindlessly, waiting for the rest of the saga.

Ozarks goat girl said...

"...runs like a burlap sack full of old sneakers being thrown down the basement stairs." This sentence alone is proof certain that you are one of the truly great American writers.

Aunt B said...

Oh my! I so agree with Ozarks goat girl... quite possibly the single greatest description referring to a goat... ever!!! I've taken to setting my coffee aside prior to pulling up your blog as I'm getting tired of snorting it through my nose and wiping it off the keyboard... you make me smile so much! Thank you!

Claire Moxon-Waltz said...

The giggle fits commence again. I am in agreement with the Ozarks Goat Girl and that sentence. Brilliant.