Friday, May 16, 2014

The Problem with Doorways

There was an incursion. This was caused by Little Drudgery repeatedly slipping through a small hole in the fence between our pasture and the fat girl pasture. Finally the seams popped completely as Little Drudgery went back and forth back and forth back and forth. She is a born waffler and can't go anywhere without coming right back. Anyway then there was a gaping hole. A hole so large that it really couldn't be considered a hole any more. It was more of a large doorway. And I want to repeat when the history books are written that this was caused by Little Drudgery.

Once you have a nice doorway probably the first thing you say to yourself is ah, now I can go out. What you don't think about is the Fat Girls, massing on the border with their beady eyes gleaming. Some of them are not thinking anything. They are part Nubian. But some of them are thinking, "NOW WE CAN GO IN!"

So there you are minding your own business and one of the Fat Girls bellows "INTO THE BREACH!" and the next thing you know you are bobbing in a sea of Fat Girls as they stampede down to the far corner of the pasture near Lost Beaver Lake where there are still some sprigs of blackberries we were saving for summer (GONE), washing over the swath of canary grass we grew out for after-dinner dining (GONE), steamrolling into our shed to scour for hay and nibbles set aside for later (GONE).

That is the Problem With Doorways. You can go out. Sure that's fine. But Fat Girls can also come in. You might think this problem could be corrected with a neatly placed sign - "Exit Only" - or something to that affect. You would be wrong in so many ways, so wrong.

And thus it will be written in my history book, the Ballad of Baby Belle (Jr.), in the Chapter titled The Battle of Lost Beaver Lake, with the addendum on The Problem With Doorways, and a footnote on Little Drudgery's Lament. "Beware the Gaping Hole: Fat Girls Can Come In."


Carolyn said...

something to that Effect

Eliza said...

Poot Little Drudgery. Fated to be Last Year's Baby forever. Still, never get between the nibbles and the Fat Girls. It never turns out well.

goatfarmer said...

Dear C thank you for your kind correct comment unfortunately we do not accept copyediting on this blog because where would that lead. thanks again.

Marigold said...

Beware ... which is why we have no problem here since everyone is fat, even though they are not all girls and one is a Goatmother. Oy.