Sunday, June 17, 2012

Good Goatiquette

I would like to just say a few words about good manners because good manners are the foundation of any civilized society even a human society will not function correctly without good manners. For a goat society good manners are the only thing between us and complete chaos.

For example the Crackpot Oregonian was sharing a stall with Blue and she was bullying Blue mercilessly, as I already reported. Blue is the type to take things lying down. Or to get up and move. She is a peace-love-and-understanding goat. Not my style, but whatever.

Anyway Abby had trumped Blue and she would not accept victory gracefully. Instead she continued to bully Blue when Blue was already fully bullied. This is not good manners. She should watch how Wronny does it. Wronny has no problem with anybody who obeys her. She does not waste time and energy t-boning the obsequious.

But Abby was drunk with power and she kept on. She went to the limit. And then she went over the limit.

Blue has a long fuse. But it isn't an endless fuse. And yesterday when the farmer was at a goat show Jen was watching the farm and she called the farmer to report that she had had to separate Abby and Blue because Blue was thrashing Abby within an inch of her life.

Our farmer is weak-minded and gave a distracted response from ringside - "oh, I see, okay, that's too bad," - and made a mental note that Jen must have Blue and Abby mixed up even though Jen is not weak-minded like the farmer.

The farmer came home and discovered that in fact Blue had finally turned into the Incredible Hulk, and Abby had reaped the whirlwind, which could have been avoided if only she had had good manners. Well, what can you do, she was born in a barn.

Meanwhile, back at the goat show, a parade of beautiful Poppy Patch does took the Senior Nigerian show by storm, picking up one after another of the grands and reserves in the three different rings. The beautiful Mae West won one ring, Angel won another, Duchess won the third.

The farmer had come with the farmer from Minter Bay and four goats, all from the Cora Belle family, two daughters and two granddaughters. Wedding Belles was the only senior and she did very well, coming in second in two rings.

Then the junior show began and Cora Belle's daughter Hazelnut waltzed out into the first ring, where she was one of a very few junior kids who actually appeared to walk rather than sproing and scream and turn magically into an indignant living dust mop collecting shavings along the floor. She won the grand champion, and her niece - Cora Belle's granddaughter Coraline - was the reserve.

Now if a person didn't know any better or didn't have good manners, they would go ahead and put Hazelnut in the next ring to see if she could win again. But what would be the point of that, anyway, since only one junior win would count. So Hazelnut was scratched out of the other rings and a lovely dry yearling won the second ring. How nice.

Then came the third ring, and, what do you know, Coraline won the grand.

So that is how good manners works.

If you have bad manners, you only hurt yourself. Once you have won, it is best to leave the ring and sit smiling at ringside, filling the air with gracious humble dignity. Do not continue thrashing your opponent. Thank you.

Congratulations to Hazelnut. Congratulations to Coraline.

Congratulations to Blue.


Anonymous said...

I have decided after an overnight deliberation that this post means that if some rude individual comes into my life, I should (in the interest of helping them learn to be more polite)smack them around with great gusto...using my horns or whatever is available to make my point and saving them from themselves...I like it! Beats the daylights out of political correctness. I think the world would be a far better place if all us polite people would just stand up.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Can you put me in touch with an owner of one of those dust mop goats? Award winers aside, a need a goat that knows how to WORK.

Blue Pony Farm said...

Embedded in this delightful story is likely the answer to the unasked question: Why do goat shows not award for Miss Congeniality? Congratulations to all Herron Hill beauty queens, who no doubt would beneficently petition for World Peace, and government subsidised peanuts for all.

Marigold said...

Long live good manners. I hope someone tells Ella, though I don't think it will likely help. Oh, well. Congratulations to the Minter Bay goats. It certainly is getting difficult to get Peanut's head through the barn door.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Oh, Millie, I'm really needing a fix of news from Herron Hill. What's going on there these days?