Goat of the Year

It is time for the Goat of the Year voting.

These are the nominees.

1. Cora Belle. My cousin Cora Belle does not live here and I do not think she should be eligible but no one asked my opinion and I guess my cousin Peanut won one year when he didn't live here so there is nothing I can do about it. And Cora Belle is actually Peanut's full sister so I think it is a little redundant to nominate her but she is the Junior Grand Champion from the Washington State Fair. The judge said "this little goat really caught my eye," but so what, that could just mean she needs glasses. Cora Belle lives over at Minter Bay Dairy Goats. As far as personality she is bossy and self-centered with a high opinion of herself.

2. Tangy. Tangy the swordfish did not injure anyone at the State Fair and that is the one and only reason she is nominated. As far as personality I don't think she has any.

3. Jammies. Oh precious little Jammies, the Queen of Special Treatment. Does Jammies want a bonbon? Does Jammies have hurt feelings? Would Jammies prefer ginger snaps or licorice? Is Jammies warm enough? Is anyone bothering her? What does she want for her birthday? What about an iPod shuffle with goat folksongs on it? This is the type of thing we have to listen to all day long as regards Jammies, but the Farmer says Jammies triumphed over adversity on the BUB program and she deserves to be nominated as much as anyone.

4. Winnie. Winnie is six years old and she is one of our best milkers and she has never been nominated for anything because nobody likes her. Winnie and Wronny are considered professional goats and anyone off the street can milk them and often does. This year Winnie had triplets and she went down like a stone with milk fever and then after two days of coddling she got up and soldiered on. Big deal. As far as personality Winnie has the personality of an assistant principal at a reform school.

5. Brandy. Brandy is really old, eleven or so, and she is the herdqueen, so I don't see why she needs to be nominated for anything. It is not like you can get a promotion from being the queen. She is the mother or grandmother or great grandmother of almost all the LaManchas here. But anyway she is really old and she hasn't died yet so that is her main accomplishment, woop-de-doo.

6. Million Belles. Oh my gosh, that's me. How humbling to be in such elite company! My real name is Million Belles but everyone calls me Millie or sometimes people call me Baby Belle, Jr. As far as looks it is like a vision of a shimmering oasis on the desert when you see me. Sometimes people swoon when they lay eyes on me, why wouldn't they. As far as personality, the main word used to describe me is adorable. As far as hobbies I enjoy being carried around and admired. As far as food, I will eat anything, I am not fussy. Thank you for considering me! P.S. I will vote for you if I get a chance!