Friday, December 14, 2007

Candidate Statement: Boxcar Betty

Hello. My name is Boxcar Betty. I am six months old. I implore you, please do not vote for me. I am all too familiar with the types of "prizes" offered to the winners of these contests. At my last contest I was forced to get a full-body haircut in spite of my attempts to reach PETA. This was a clear violation of the Geneva Convention. Not to mention a terrible fashion crime.

Then when I was named a winner I was forced to parade in a circle in front of human oglers holding fair donuts and scones and wearing ill-fitting shorts. After all this I was given a little blue strip of cloth or something as my so-called prize. A strip of cloth! Hardly edible! Tasted like ink!

My question was good golly, what do you get when you DON'T win? I shudder to think.

In any case, my brother Peanut would be an excellent choice, or Big Orange.
Or even my half-aunt Belle Pepper. Or why not be the first to vote for Tubster? Even the weimaraners are electable, and let's face it if they don't win this, they won't win anything.

Just please don't vote for me. I neither seek nor accept your endorsement. Please take your suffrage elsewhere. I will abdicate my throne at the first opportunity if elected. Thank you for not considering me!

Vote for Boxcar Betty in the poll.

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