Monday, October 17, 2011

Any Fries With That?

Me, Millie, (R) and the BP's sister Sandy (L)
This is a picture of me with the Bitter Pill's sister Sandy. We have been having beautiful weather which is very unusual for this time of year. Or any time of year, really. As you can see the sky is perfectly blue.

Anyway it was a busy weekend because everyone came in heat including me which as you may know is very taxing and puts a lot of downward pressure on your IQ. You can feel yourself getting dumber and not understanding clever jokes or how to unlock a stall door or why you are supposed to stay out of Wronny's way and so on. For me it is ok because of my extraordinary intelligence. Even with a few points off I can still function like a normal goat.

But Binky for example came into heat and was no longer able to identify the barn and before much longer she was no longer able to identify the grain bucket which is pretty much the point of no return. She just stood in the pasture bawling and looking at Junior and startling herself whenever she would catch sight of her tail if she turned her head. As a test the farmer put a full bucket of grain right next to her and she could not identify it. So very sad.

My daughter Izzy came in heat and was whisked off to the drive-through buck service to meet the Tiny Giant. After she got back she would not talk about anything else, how wonderful the Tiny Giant was and how manly and so on.

"Uh huh," said all the does who weren't in heat.

When you are not in heat you cannot imagine a duller topic than bucks. Really, tell me some more about your smelly little friend.

"He looks like a giant," gushed Izzy, "only much smaller."

"No kidding," said the unheated does, elbowing and mashing their way around the hay feeder.

"He has such a charming blubber, I can't really describe it,"

"Then don't," suggested Lucy, hogging as much alfalfa as she could.


Marigold said...

Oy. Was all knowledge of superior thought like say, of Peanuts or Swedish Fish, lost? That would be a sure sign meaning 'This Goat Beyond Redemption'. No mere buck is worth paying that kind of price, if you ask me.

Ozarks Goat Girl said...

Millie, tell Lucy to watch it about hogging that alfalfa or she may soon find herself in the fat girl's pasture. Could be that she is coming into heat and doesn't remember the consequence for gluttony.

antoniomo said...

It is impressive, Belle, at how lucid an account you could give about this weekend despite you yourself being in heat. Once again I'm amazed all the other goats don't recognize, and defer to, your superior intelligence and wisdom.

Krys said...

Sandy is so cute! Never even bothered thinking goats could be picturesque until I found these guys eating out of calabashes in Mali Keep the good writing!

Sharli said...

Thank you! I don't remember if I've commented before, but I've been reading your blog for about a year now and I thoroughly love it! Today I had such a good belly laugh I just had to take the moment to thank you for sharing! What a perfect way to begin my day!

Teresa said...

Hilarious! I love your blog. That you can write about goats in heat and make it not only funny but interesting, is a a gift.